Squareface @ 31°North

Farewell again

2006-12-07T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hey, I think I shall stick with my move to my new site. The Great Firewall of China is just too intimidating. Please redirect your bookmarks/links to www.squarefaced.com

Thanks! This blog looks more fanciful though, and I spent so much time on it I can't bear to leave!

But one must move on, one must venture...

Has the great firewall of China crumbled?

2006-12-02T15:51:00.000+08:00

I can access blogspot blogs again without using anonymouse! I wonder how long more it'll last though.

Now I'm wondering whether I should continue with this blogspot blog or be a little more adventurous with www.squarefaced.com.

Blogspot in beta

Pros: Incredibly user-friendly with widgets, so I can play around with some stuff like what you see on my sidebar here; FREE; more patronages due to public listing

Cons: May get blocked by China anytime; no own domain

Squarefaced.com

Pros: Own domain; FREEDOM in many aspects such as design and layout; lower risk of being threatened by the Great Firewall of China

Cons: Webhosting and domain name not free; since I'm not a techie I'm not all that affluent with HTML and mySQL or php etc so things like designing and manipulating are not at my fingertips

Lunch at a greasy spoon

2006-11-30T21:46:00.000+08:00

Eating at a grimy place such as a greasy spoon in the suburbs of Shanghai makes me view myself as a good cook. Although cheap (5 yuan for a bowl of rice, a bowl of soup, and 5 scoopings from dishes), the vegetables were almost ice-cold since they were displayed on the table for who knows how long, uncovered, in the blistering cold. Bringing sticky rice to my mouth and sipping the salty soup, I realized I'm not such a bad cook afterall. I nibbled on 3 different salty oily chewy vegetables, a tough fried egg, and an unappetizing pork fillet.

I ate at the greasy spoon on the sidewalk leading to my apartment building, and sat with construction workers who seemed ecstatic to be having a hearty meal. While gobbling and slurping down their rice and soup, they kept looking at me, as if knowing it was my first and last patronage. Then, suddenly, while returning the stare of one construction worker, he spit some small parts of meat on the table and some bigger ones on the floor.

Well, I paid S$1 more for the experience than for the food, and walked away feeling happy with the knowledge that I can (and should) actually cook. :)

So Sam and Squareface can look alright

2006-11-29T18:43:00.000+08:00

Sam and I went for a photoshoot at the beginning of this month. The place is called 莎莎, not excellent service but reasonably priced (and highly bargainable). While the stylists there were helping us with our make-up, there was quite a commotion because they couldn't decipher whether Sam was a guy or a girl and didn't know what to do with her make-up. Then there were lots of questions and....well, I shan't go there. Sam wanted to leave but it was really fortunate that we stayed 'coz the photo taking itself was quite fun and the pictures turned out...well, it's pretty nice, some of 'em. If you wanna take a look at all our pics, make a comment below with your email address and I'll send you a link. Heh.

For RMB550 (raw cost only. Of course you'll pay more if you wanna have the copies of more pics, which you quite certainly will), we had 3 sets of make-up and outfits each, an 8.5 inch (length) book, a 5 inch (length) book, a crystalized photoframed photo, a 20 inch poster, and a CD with 18 pics (or more if you order extra).

Hmm. I still can't believe I did that. Friends of mine may agree with me that it's so not me to go for this kinda thing. Muahahaha. But anyways I did enjoy myself and I like the pics! Almost like wedding pics eh? hAh.

Students are almost alike almost all over the world

2006-11-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

Okay, it's not fair for me to use "all over the world" since I've only observed students in Singapore and Shanghai, and these two countries are just 30 latitudes apart.

Anyway, I have noticed that students from both Singapore and Shanghai exhibit the following:

Multi-task while attending lectures (though in Shanghai, the students multi-task by reading other coursework during lectures whilst students in Singapore multi-task by simply doing other things instead of listening attentively)

Sleep in lectures

Twirl pens!

However, I bet you have never seen the following:

I spotted a student using a binoculars to view the projector screen! I apologize for the lack of power for the zoom of my camera phone though.

Rather amusing, isn't it?

Squareface achieving square body

2006-11-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

I haven't eaten this much for a long time, and it is indeed rather gratifying.This morning, Birte (a friend from Germany, is staying at my place for around 10 days or so) and I went to buy fruits, and boy did she buy a lot. I have never had so many fruits in my house before. She bought a pineapple, a pomelo, pomegranates, bananas, oranges, mandarin oranges, and kiwi fruit.

Then, I went to Jing An temple area to have Brazilian BBQ buffet lunch with Rowena. It's a cosy, warm place with delectable dishes. For 55RMB, you get to choose dishes from the buffet table, and a free flow of juicy meat that will make a mild eater instantly a carnivore-convert. You can choose from chicken, lamb, beef, duck, in different forms like leg, shoulder, heart, thigh, etc. These meats are served by the chefs -- they go around table to table slicing the meat off a huge chunk with a large knife at your face. Drinks are charged separately, of course, and a can of coke/sprite cost us 9RMB, which is 3 times the charge at common eateries. So a lunch meal would typically cost you 64RMB. Very worth it, though, if you're okay with being carnivorous for a day. We sat there for almost 4 hours just eating and talking, and eating again.

The Brazil BBQ Buffet eating house

The buffet table

Chicken heart! (And Rowena's fingers trying to form a heart, albeit the Roxy trademark one)

Rowena and I agree -- if anything gets us down, the food/price here in Shanghai can lift our spirits anytime. :)

Walking the Terry Fox Run

2006-11-19T15:36:00.000+08:00

I haven't been punctual for morning classes this week but I mustered up the discipline to meet my friends to join the Terry Fox Run event in Shanghai. We were supposed to complete the 8km path but finished with the 3.8km event in the end since we exceeded the timeframe. About half an hour after the gunshot was heard, we were still loitering around the starting point taking pictures and depositing bags haha.

Left: Busy businessmen having to deal with queries on this leisurely walk on the Terry Fox Run.

Right: Fishing!

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;span style="font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 9px"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a style="font-size: 100%" xhref="http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/89362.376dc2ee3fe" mce_href="http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/89362.376dc2ee3fe" &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;This album&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; is powered by &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a style="font-size: 100%" xhref="http://www.bubbleshare.com" mce_href="http://www.bubbleshare.com" &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;BubbleShare&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; - &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a style="font-size: 100%" xhref="http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/89362.376dc2ee3fe/share#add_to_blog" mce_href="http://www.bubbleshare.com/album/89362.376dc2ee3fe/share#add_to_blog" &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Add to my blog&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/span&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Click on 'Play' to watch the slideshow! :)&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Farewell, Blogspot

2006-11-18T14:03:00.000+08:00

Due to the "Great Firewall of China", I have relocated.

Impending 2 weeks of Bliss

2006-10-28T11:23:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning smiling, happy with the thought that I'll be waking up tomorrow with Sam beside me.

I've placed a countdown at the top of my sidebar for the time till I get back to my miserable blogging. I want the 2 weeks to never end.

Do remember to drop by 2 weeks later to read about my adventure in Yunnan, yar?

Applying to Fudan University

2006-10-27T16:56:00.000+08:00

Although it was only slightly more than a year ago, I had clean forgotten about how I applied to Fudan University. I was just looking at my email archives yesterday to clean it up, and found several correspondences with a few universities in China -- Fudan University, Beijing University, Renmin University, and Donghua University. I applied and got an unconditional place in Donghua, but it wasn't practical because the school doesn't really offer much to me since they specialize more in design (like Laselle-SIA). Beijing University required my original documents and the registration period was very short. According to the email in my archive, the program officer required me to submit my documents by that very weekend, in person (they do not accept documents by post). Then I was stumped by Renmin Uni's prerequisite of a recommendation letter and an entrance exam. Fudan required an exam too. But all good universities in China require you to take an entrance exam so I thought I'd give it a try, but narrowed my final choice to Fudan only, since every application meant some money I might throw away, and I already threw away quite some of it if you know about my situation then. After getting the necessary documents, I sent my application to Fudan University by post, and asked for an extension from University of Queensland (UQ), and turned down the other letters of offers from the other Australian Universities I applied to (ok, so you can see they readily accept Arts students).

The first email I enquired after the various Chinese universities was sent on 7 March 2005. I didn't know the outcome of my application to Fudan till June 19 (I checked every single day), which happened to be the Yamaha Electone Festival (YEF) Finals day, and UQ's orientation was July 18. During the whole period I was worried that UQ might withdraw their offer because I was really dragging time by not accepting the offer, and was scared shitless at the thought that I'll lose both sides if my entrance exam to Fudan didn't pull through. I wouldn't know what to do then man. Work, I guess. My mother kept trying to get me to work till I was 21 and enrol in SIM's Open University's various degree programmes that sorta had what I wanted. On top of studying for the entrance exam, I was practising for YEF too, so that I wouldn't let myself down on that day by not having too many obvious glitches. I wanted to continue working at Borders at that time, but the schedule there was hectic and I couldn't get my leave approved when I needed to go for the qualifying round, so I left, which was good because I joined a preparatory course for the entrance exam that would not have left me much time and energy for work anyway. So the timing for everything was rather tight, but everything pulled through and I'm here now and not in the saturated down under.

I sent my application form to Fudan on my own, but actually Crestar has collaborated with Fudan to offer you a BA in Chinese language, under Fudan-Xinsida Chinese Institute. Located next to Serangoon MRT, you can actually submit your application and payment conveniently through them. This piece of information is probably not necessary for Hwa Chong JCians or other LEP students or some other scholar but more for a layperson like me who doesn't have a clue how to go about applying to Fudan University but can do it easily now through Fudan-Xinsida.

With major hooha over China being up-and-coming, I hope to see a greater diversity of Singaporeans here instead of the usual suspects.

Stuff in my life that might have pushed me to pursue my BA in China

2006-10-27T16:16:00.000+08:00

In the dead of these many nights I start to question myself all over again why I'm here in a Chinese university. One day I tried to rake up my past to check out possible signs that I was actually meant to "eat rice (and steamed dumplings, noodles and duck!)" and not "eat potato", and that I got deviated and ate potato when I was supposed to be eating rice all along.

Was in Chinese dance ECA throughout Primary School.
Was in Chinese enrichment class for a couple of years I think. This class definately honed my hanyu pinyin and spoken Mandarin.
Attended abacus classes for a year or so at some learning centre at Centrepoint.
Attended Chinese Composition class for 2 years or so in Secondary School with Advanced Learning Centre (are they still around?)
I think I came in 3rd or something in some intra-school calligraphy contest, but I think it was 3rd from my class so actually it's nothing, cheh. Received some chinese books I never read till this day.
Chinese Short Play Competition (got into finals ok) in Sec 2. I WAS FORCED INTO IT BY SOME FRIENDS. I played a dying father(!) whose lines went something like "*cough cough cough...* You..! *cough cough* y-you...!". Reina, I still remember wearing your dad's shirt (and tie?). And Celine's scream was/is unforgettable. Eh, Celine, that kickstarted your fame, eh? Now so famous, should have gotten your autograph with a picture of me and you as husband and wife (or was it mistress? oh! You played my wife who cheated on me issit?) at that time, then if I'm ever in need of money you'll have to give me 'coz I'll blackmail you with those photos that has your signature muAHahahhaa. Ok, the script in my head very cheena, right? Proves my point for this post.
Nanyang Junior College.
THE NYJC Dragon Boat and Canoeing Team (what was known then, 'coz now they're 2 different CCAs). Coach speaks Mandarin (but sometimes he used English with me!), teammates spoke mainly Mandarin and laughed at mine, dragon boat itself is a Chinese concept.
Father. He has always been passionate about calligraphy and tried to get me interested, only to receive disappointment. I think he played a big part in making sure my Chinese didn't get as atrocious as my brother's, who till today does not know that "fat hope" is not "肥希望" (but this made it into our family lingo).
Mother. For always telling me I cannot make it, that I'm not clever, that I was just lucky whenever I try to prove something to her. She was the one who first put the option of studying in China inside my head though, after the 'A' levels. And she recently asked if I would like to transfer to UQ (University of Queensland, Australia, where I initially planned to go) by transferring credits from my first year because she's afraid my chinese really cannot make it.
Watching all those Chinese television dramas while having dinner every evening at 7 since my younger days.
Professor Chen Qi! Meeting and talking to her at Career Fair 2005 was my turning point.
Sam! Let's just say she's doesn't like to eat potato that much.

I'm sure there's more, but this shall suffice for now. So stop saying I belong to the "eat potato" gang because maybe I wanna be a cheenapok now. Though Winnie pointed out something when I told her I was eating mashed potatoes just now, that it's weird that I'm eating potatoes in China while she's craving for dumplings in America. I think this metaphor goes a little further because among the 2 of us Winnie has had more passion for the Chinese language than I (ever) did.

2006-10-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

"While each has its merits, the trick is to manoeuvre so that you can find that niche for yourself. Complaining because others have done better than yourself will only serve to ignore your own weaknesses and eventually compound your own self-inflicted misery. "

我和云南有个约会 (I have a date with Yunnan)

2006-10-26T17:05:00.000+08:00

There were many glitches while planning for my Yunnan trip with Sam. I have 20 weeks this semester, when we usually have 19. So since mid-term exams were usually on week 10 when we have 19 weeks, I assumed our mid-term exams would be on either week 10 or 11, and Sam will be here on Week 9 and 10, so we can take our holiday on week 9.

Glitch no. 1: Computer exam on Wednesday, 1 Nov, week 9.

My response: I changed my trip to start the day after that, 2 nov, so that I can come back in time for my assumed English exam on week 10.

Glitch no. 2: Teacher announced English exam to be on Friday, 3 Nov, week 9.

My response: What's with all the exams on week 9?! Ok nevermind I'll leave on that afternoon after the exam instead then.

Glitch no. 3: English exam rescheduled to Wednesday, 8 Nov, week 10.

My response: What the hell. I almost bought the plane tickets already loh.

After breathing, my response: I spoke to my teacher, and she very kindly let me take the exam on 1 Nov, Wednesday, week 9, so I can leave the day after. She even allowed me to take 3 lessons off! Just gotta make sure I catch up with work. :) What a lovely teacher she is. She kept smiling throughout the conversation too.

So I bought a one-way plane ticket to Kunming for 2 November, 8am, yesterday. I called many different places to get the best price, and it was delivered to my door 2 hours later. Hey I just realized "8am" looks a lot like "Sam" haha. Anyways, my one-way trip costs 960RMB, and it's already tour package price. Lets hope the ride from Kunming to Shanghai will be cheaper purchased from Kunming.

Moral of story? You can make things happen if you ask. Wanting something very much helps too.

So, my teacher deserves a handsome souvenir from Sam and I, doesn't she?

Haha, yeah man, but nothing for the rest of you I'm afraid. Unless you can tell me why you deserve it.

My friend, the Beauty Queen (a.k.a. Maximizer Bra wannabe)

2006-10-26T16:46:00.000+08:00

MY BROTHER sent me the youtube URL to watch the interview with Celine Tan on SMUBE Campus Beat..Check her out! I've known her since we were Primary 3, and shared the gory details of our lives even till after Junior College. Though we've drifted apart as I have with everyone else, she has never put on airs nor brushed me aside whenever I needed a listening ear. :) Busier than a bee, she always makes time for her friends!

A true queen of a beautiful heart, presenting to you, the wonderbra wannabe!

Babe, I'm happy to see ya achieving greater heights as time goes by. I just hope you're truly happy and not putting up a show like most of us do. ;)

The Cuckoo's Nest is recruiting!

2006-10-26T15:56:00.000+08:00

Looks like I'm not the only thing going crazy around here. The first enemy I have made in the asylum is the weather here.

Yesterday the real feel for temperature was like 26 degrees, today it's about 16, since the sun went to sleep. I could feel that my toes were numb after I removed my shoes. I hate being partially numb because I can actually feel where I'm numb via the un-numb places. Get what I mean? Anyway it was really quite cold today and I sure don't look forward to even colder days to come (after Sam leaves).

I suspect China has started blocking blogspot sites again...I haven't been able to access my own site since yesterday, which means I have to use an anonymous proxy just to take a look at whether my post was created successfully...

And I just received a call to learn that only 2 students have signed up for the tap dance class I was raving about a while back, so it looks like the class might be cancelled, but I'll get my money back. Argh.

And someone just called me on skype, some stranger. Why the hell should I answer and talk to you (she's really a stranger, I'm not trying to use figurative language).

[04:17:39 PM] angelina says: hi
[04:18:16 PM] Squareface says: hi
[04:18:38 PM] angelina says: i come from china
[04:19:18 PM] Squareface says: do you always call people like that?
[04:20:03 PM] angelina says: no,i just have a try,do you mind ?
[04:20:17 PM] Squarefacesays: yes
[04:21:48 PM] angelina says: why
[04:22:04 PM] Squareface says: its weird to answer a call from a stranger
[04:22:06 PM] Squareface says: you don't think so?
[04:22:11 PM] Squareface says: sorry go bug someone else

Self-destruction

2006-10-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

Okay so lets do some math:

If smoking one cigarette takes away 7 minutes of my life, and assuming we are supposed to live up till the age of 85 (very optimistic so that we can concoct stronger potions):

Okay this plan is not feasible...thats too many cigarettes and too much money...
I would gladly do a calculation if I were to add alcohol to that, or pills with alcohol, but dammit I don't have the figures.

A different approach can always be taken. Why should we rely on such vices? Why not enjoy it while it lasts? Another way to self-annihilate is to just keep eating. I've got a talent to score in my LDL levels, so I just googled foods with the highest cholesterol content, which is hard, 'coz the results for "food with highest cholesterol" were all about LOWERING cholesterol, which just shows how we're being brainwashed by all these channels of information. Anyway, here's a good site that debunks the egg yolk = high cholesterol theory. Or and that's not the only one.

Okay before I digress and start talking about another issue altogether, foods with the highest cholesterol include chicken liver and giblets. I think the Chinese should have their lipids tested regularly. Ok next on that list is eggs, with cholesterol content 4.24mg/g.

Alright, this seems more feasible...about 47 eggs to eat...if I eat one egg everyday, I can collapse in a heap less than 50 days from now. That's before Christmas man. How's that for a Christmas gift for both you and me, eh?

Not that easy, I'm afraid. The likelihood of having my arteries clogged up enough for me to get a heart attack depends on my LDL (bad cholesterol level), which figures I cannot remember, but it shares around the same ratio of my level : normal level of 2.

It's highly achievable though, since I'm in a land of oil. And there's always my favourite dish that is also on that list of artery-clogging list: Beijing crispy skin duck.

Ah, wish me luck.

Just go away

2006-10-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I reeive condescending looks from you, and you, and you.

I wish I never knew you, and wish even more that you never knew me.

Stop trying to force a smile at me. You don't want to know what you asked, so why do you try to be nice when you don't mean it and when you don't mean it it comes across so clearly that it makes me even more pissed so you just go ahead and flash that phoney smile of yours and spoil my whole day and make me want to just gorge your eyes out with that condescending look of yours.

i'm just not like you nor you nor you so why can't you just leave me alone since you don't have the capacity to accept someone different from you and neither do i have that gift but i like it that way so maybe you could learn to like it too because i think my life would be much better if you would just ignore me and pretend you have never seen me before because i'd very much prefer that to watching how you try to speak on my level which you give the impression that you have to lower yourself for that so if you think you gotta bend your back to talk to me that just get lost because i don't want to be blamed for you to have a broken back.

and don't you dare laugh at the term brokeback because you have no right to and you don't know what the hell you talk about sometimes but you can just go on and on and act all high and mighty just because your eyes have moved over several pieces of paper with lines across them because that just doesn't prove anything if your intentions are just crappy and you don't delve into your own thoughts because you get too busy burying yourself in someone else's thought because they are god to you just like how god is to her so since you cannot accept things any other way then let people live their own life because i sure do hope whoever's thought you worship advocates letting people be happy and i sure want to be happy but the only way i can be happy is if i don't see you you and you again so just leave me alone leave me by myself don't talk to me i hate the things that come out of your mouth and that look u never fail to give haunts me i don't give a damn about you i really don't and if you ever see me finding out about you its because i don't want you to find me this game of hide and seek really sucks because i hate to be found so can't you just count to ten and run away and be happy

or i'll bite.

Skills only seen in China

2006-10-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

These pics weren't taken by me...I received them in an email...
I do want to have my own shots though, so watch this space (or this spot since it's blogspot)!

Log off soon

2006-10-24T22:43:00.000+08:00

Have you been surfing online for more than an hour already? If so, I'm hurt that it took you this long to pop by, and my advise is for you to log off real soon. Staring too long at your computer screen promotes myopia, squinting eyes, and crankiness. I should know because I was online for 48 hours out of 72 over the weekend.

Just for a few moments, I didn't feel so cold

2006-10-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

I just received a rather sweet series of messages from my landlord...

最近天气变冷了，自己要当心一些，上海的这个季节特别容易感冒呢。
现在早晚的时候，还是比较冷的。
晚上回家晚了，也要注意安全，现在天黑的早了。
没有来电预约的来访，一定不要随便开门。
祝你在这里生活的一切都好。
我要下去了，你继续忙你的吧。。。

Just a bunch of easily-typed words, but thats the only voice of concern I've heard these days.

Lala lalalala...

2006-10-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hosted by Zooomr (testing it out)

Okay I'm rather slow with current affairs, so this is old news.

"China's first hotline for lesbians is set to open following the success of a service for gay men in a country where homosexuals still face stigma and discrimination, a local newspaper reported.
The hotlines, which operate in China's booming coastal cities of Shanghai and Guangzhou where social change outpaces the rest of China, are run by the Hong Kong-based Chi Heng Foundation, which oversees AIDS-related projects.
The new line will be staffed by lesbians, just as the volunteers for the existing one are all gay men, said one of the hotline's counselors, adding that the organization had had trouble recruiting enough qualified volunteers.
"To have female counselors at the center will make the women callers feel more secure," hotline staff member Shen Yiwu told the Shanghai Daily.
During the Mao era, homosexuals were persecuted, especially during the Cultural Revolution when prison terms and death sentences were meted out. Homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder in China until 2001."

In more recent news (still outdated though), Qiao Qiao (乔乔), a Beijing lesbian bar owner (longest-running), is the first out lesbian singer. "She has released her first new single, "Ai bu fen” (爱不分), along with a music video depicting two women in love. Ai bu fen” (爱不分), which means love does not discriminate, is the first openly lesbian song in the People’s Republic, a country where homosexuality has long been fettered by tradition and the pressure to marry." Watch it and tell me what you think:

She also claimed that some of the Supergirls (超级女声, or 超女 for short, a singing competition that has a similar concept to American Idol, just that all the competitors are girls) are bent that way too, that "they know who they are", having seen them at her bar. After that news report, many rumours started to spread, and may have caused contestant Xu Fei (许飞）to have unnecessarily lost her chance to be the last 5 contestants standing.

Xu Fei denies being a lesbian and got very defensive when pressed for answers. Sheesh. Refuse to be out then out you go...(Xu Fei was eliminated after the whole incident, and is in the sixth place).

4 out of the last 6 contestants were very androgynous in my opinion...

Winner, Shang Wenjie, graduate of Fudan University's Foreign Language and Literature (French) *swoons*

Agreed? The andro look is definitely in in China (also).

A little Chinese lingo for your reference:

Pocket Dictionary of China’s Homosexuals

tongzhi (同志) (comrade): used by Chinese gays and lesbians to refer to themselves

lala (拉拉): lesbian

1: refers to the male role in a gay relationship [or as we refer to commonly as, top]

0: refers to the female role in a gay relationship [or as we refer to commonly as, bottom]

T: refers to tomboy, or the male role in a lesbian relationship [or as we commonly refer to as butch]

P: stands for the Chinese Pinyin po, or the female role in a lesbian relationship [or as we commonly refer to as femme]

bufen (不分): either andro or just unlabelled

419: used to indicate a one night stand

MB: money boy, normally known as male prostitute

Uncle: a respectful title for older tomboy

Squareface has a favour to ask of you

2006-10-22T00:25:00.000+08:00

Hey hey you there who knows me by some way or another. Do this for me, will ya?

Johari Window, and Nohari Window. Please help me with both, yah?

Apparently they feature dichotomies between good qualities and "failings", though if I were to make that list, I would make several switches. For instance, being simple should be in the Johari Window. Many of them don't seem like direct opposites to me, but just do it for my curiosity's sake ok?

Heh.

The Hunt for a Photo Host

2006-10-21T16:35:00.000+08:00

After testing out different blog hosts and sticking to blogspot, I've been checking out various types of Photo hosting sites and still haven't managed to hunt down one that I'm happy with. As you can see on this site, I'm actually using many different image hosting which means that my pictures are uploaded a little here and a bit there. I wanna have a site where I can upload albums for those interested in viewing Squareface's shots. I just got REJECTED though. Some @£$%&! site actually doesn't accept me! Now, I can understand if the meat world rejects me, but being turned down in the virtual just seems too...surreal.

So I checked it out and found this:

Here is a quick list rules for MyPhotoAlbum. Violation of these rules can lead to termination of your account. For more information please visit our terms and conditions.

1. No commercial use.

2. No posting of copyrighted material that is not yours.

3. No sites containing wallpapers

4. No sites containing screen captures.

5. No fan sites.

6. No accounts from Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, or Korea.

7. No advertisements

And if you look at the terms & conditions under number 17 you get this:

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN. MyPhotoAlbum reserves the right to restrict access to our servers from areas of the globe with a high level of abusive activity. These areas change periodically based on the origins of this inappropriate activity. The current restriction applies to Belarus, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Bulgaria, China, Egypt, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, Moldavia, Morocco, Pakistan, Philippines, Romania, Russian Federation, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Ukraine, United Arab Emirates, Vietnam, Yugoslavia.

Wah lau.

I wanted to sign up for this hosting site because it offers personalized designs and layouts, unlimited photo storage and albums, free photo and video sharing and allows votings and comments. But the country I'm in right now is an "area of the globe with a high level of abusive activity." What the...? What exactly does that mean anyway? I'm sure glad Singapore isn't on that list, and I'm laughing at a certain neighbouring country who thinks "Singapore is simply a neighbour too far." Okay, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm glad at least you think we're too far from your "inappropriate" activities.

And why isn't North Korea on that list?

The importance of having a hair stylist

2006-10-20T23:39:00.000+08:00

My mother hardly gave me the chance to explore the world of hair salons because she could cut my hair perfectly fine, albeit making my hairstyle look like it was cut by tracing a bowl over my head. However, when I had some means of getting a haircut at any place other than the bathroom at home, no hairdresser pleased me. So I'd been on an endless quest to find myself a good hair stylist, or at least a regular hairdresser.

I couldn't find one back home in Singapore, so I was never satisfied with my hairstyle. I was desperate enough to try the relatively expensive hairdressing establishments, only to find myself more despondent and poorer. I tried different outlets of QBHouse, a budget hairdressing salon, but no haircut seemed to make me happy. The most satisfied I have been with my hairdo was at Tony & Guy Academy. However, I wanted a hair stylist, my own hair stylist, who knows how I'm like and what I want for a coiffure (hairstyle).

I'm so glad to have found her! It was a twist of fate, fortunately she delivered me from those wretched curls that I had been deceived into paying money for in my second semester (I only beared with them curls for a week).

She somehow knew what I wanted by looking and talking to me, and anyway her hairstyle was close to what I wanted so she understood perfectly well. From then on, she became my hair stylist, being the only one who can put a smile on my face after her work is done. I knew my hair was in good hands.

However, unsurprisingly, with her aptitude for hair styling, she clinched a position with a tv station and a higher-end hair salon, thereby leaving that no-space-to-improve place. I thought that was it, I could no longer go to her as and when at the beauty salon where we first met, and I had to go back to that endless tiresome quest. When I came back here after the summer break, Sam and I went to some crappy hairsalon, or lets just say cut-hair-place, and had our hair cut by young boys who were ah beng wannabes. It was cheap though -- but almost all hair salons in this area are -- 5 yuan per haircut. The shape of my hair that she crafted for me was gone under the scissors of that juvenile scissors-holder.

I thank her for believing in fate! She wants to keep me as her customer -- she rejected many others -- because she feels that our acquaintance was kismet. She's willing to continue being my hair stylist so all I have to do is arrange a prior appointment with her...

She chided me for letting those @£$%!& cut my hair though. If I hadn't done so, my hair would be in a much better state. Nevertheless, as usual she miraculously transformed a squareface into a not-so-square-and-smiling face!

Try not to hairdresser-hop so much. It's really better to have a hairstylist who knows what kinda style you want and like because you and her/him can communicate. She even learnt about Sam today.

Of course, I guess it helps if the hair salon is one that offers affordable services. It's actually rather degrading for her to come back to that beauty salon just to do my hair, since her customers at the higher-end salons pay 20 times more.

An account of what I spent at the beauty salon today:
Trimming of eyebrows: 10RMB
Haircut: Free today since I paid for other services (Usual: 10 RMB)
Dye: 88RMB (promo)
Treatment after dye: 58RMB (promo)
Hairwash: Free today since I paid for other services (Usual: 5 or 10 RMB)

I love cooking? damn.

2006-10-20T21:28:00.000+08:00

I swallowed that lump in my throat today whilst supermarket shopping. I know I'm being very self-indulgent by giving myself a pat on the back here but I'm quite proud of myself haha. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm actually beginning to enjoy grocery shopping and cooking! I still can't believe it. I bought necessary groceries to cook simple meals over the weekend, and I even asked one of the promoters how to cook the soup she was cooking haha.

Oh and here's an improved version of mashed potatoes. Thanks to cj's advice, I added milk. She suggested cheese along with the butter & salt combi, but I think one type of diary product will suffice, especially since time is running out, and I haven't lost much weight (I have a certain target weight that I hope to hit before I turn 21).

Okay the pic sux but the colour of the potato looks more like the kind of mashed potato people sell you after I added milk.

And then! I cooked salmon!

Haha, ok I admit I barely cooked it. I just placed it in my steamer for about 10 minutes or so, and then sprinkled some Szechuan Pepper over it. Delicious! But of course I prefer eating the ones my dad cooks. I called home wanting to ask what sauce he uses to marinate salmon, but nobody picked up the phone so I just steamed it and ate it au naturel, then felt a little pepper would make it more enticing.
Here's the bottles of pepper I use ever since I started cooking (which was...this week?).

哲学原典导读－《维摩诘所说经》

2006-10-19T20:11:00.000+08:00

(an excerpt)
佛国品第一

如是我闻。一时佛在毗耶离庵罗树园。与大比丘众八千人俱。菩萨三万二千。众所知识。大智本行皆悉成就。诸佛威神之所建立。为护法城受持正法。能狮子吼名闻十方。　

I took about 20 minutes to get the above typed out haha. I wanted to let you see at least one paragraph, but that's way too tiring and meaningless unless I can understand and comment on it. Well, the above lines translate to something like this:

(taken from this saviour)

VIMALAKIRTI NIRDESA SUTRA

Translated by Robert A. F. Thurman

1. Purification of the Buddha-Field

Reverence to all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Aryasravakas, and Pratyekabuddhas, in the past, the present, and the future.

Thus have I heard:

At one time the Lord Buddha was in residence in the garden of Amrapali, in the city of Vaisali, attended by a great gathering. Of Bhikkhus there were eight thousand, all saints. They were free from impurities and afflictions, and all had attained self-mastery. Their minds were entirely liberated by perfect knowledge. They were calm and dignified, like royal elephants. They had accomplished their work, done what they had to do, cast off their burdens, attained their goals, and totally destroyed the bonds of existence. They all had attained the utmost perfection of every form of mind control.

Of bodhisattvas there were thirty-two thousand, great spiritual heroes who were universally acclaimed. They were dedicated through the penetrating activity of their great super-knowledge’s and were sustained by the grace of the Buddha. Guardians of the city of Dharma, they upheld the true doctrine, and their great teachings resounded like the lion's roar throughout the ten directions.

I am struggling with this module because I can barely understand the scriptures...

Help, anyone?

NST: Singapore is simply a neighbour too far

2006-10-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

New Straits Times said:

To us, Singapore appears to behave too much like an insecure lover, forever demanding to know how much she is loved. The lack of confidence is difficult to understand when she is not without ample assets herself, for the entire world to see. The insatiable craving for praise and adoration would point to some flaw in the national character, but this we know cannot be the case because the affairs of Singapore are in the hands of highly capable and rational men and women. ... Based on our past experience with her, and in order to avoid unnecessary unpleasantness, such as being accused of bullying a small neighbour and of other unfair and malevolent behaviour, we should, as far as possible, leave Singapore completely alone.
She is a neighbour too far, with apologies to A Bridge Too Far.

Read the entire article here.

Source: http://tomorrow.sg/archives/2006/10/18/nst_singapore_is_simply_a_neighb.html

I hope Sam can be (at least) a Singapore Permanent Resident as soon as possible.

Homemade Mashed Potato

2006-10-19T18:21:00.000+08:00

Ingredients

1. Potato, peeled and diced
2. Mushroom Gravy (premix or own recipe) / Butter and salt
3. Pepper

Directions

1. Steam potato (I used a steamer, but you can very well use a microwave oven) for about 20 minutes
2. Make mushroom gravy, or if you're using the butter & salt combination then just sit around
3. (Mushroom Gravy version) Mash the potato with whatever suitable utensil you have, pour gravy over, add pepper
(Butter & salt combi) Mash potatoes together with butter and salt, and maybe pepper too.

Tada!

"Something Old, Something New" photo competition

2006-10-19T02:46:00.000+08:00

Exercise your creativity, sharpen your observation and get your camera ready to capture “something old, something new” within a single frame!

Over $18,000 worth of attractive prizes to be won, inclusive of accommodation at Banyan Tree’s luxurious resorts and Sony’s latest digital SLR cameras. Top 20 entries will also be exhibited in a roving exhibition.

Closing Date: 31 October 2006, 12pm

Ok, I don't know why I'm advertising for Singapore Museum Shop for free...but if you're free and happen to have taken a photo that is apt to this theme, perhaps you could send it in...and you never know! Chances are higher if you're a student as you can participate in more than one category. Only open to all Singapore citizens and permanent residents though.

Pardon the pun, but it's worth a shot!

Check out the photo competition.

Singlish Security Lecture

2006-10-19T01:59:00.000+08:00

"This is a comedy skit from Tyler Creasman and David Rapa. Performed at the International Community School in Singapore for their International night on October 13, 2006."

Wah...he speaks better Singlish than me...how come I keep coming across things like these that make my Singaporean identity questionable...

(Pathetic) Cooking for one - Cabbages

2006-10-19T01:18:00.000+08:00

Interested in eating cabbages with a taste that Squareface has acquired?

Cabbage v.01

Ingredients
1. Oil
2. Garlic, finely chopped
3. Cabbage, chopped/sliced
4. Oyster Sauce

Directions
1. Heat oil in frying pan.
2. Add garlic.
3. Add cabbage (Advice: Don't stand too near the pan. I usually stay real far when the reaction between water and hot oil takes place)
4. Add oyster sauce. Mix. Serve.

Cabbage v.02

Ingredients
1. Oil
2. Garlic, finely chopped
3. Cabbage, chopped/sliced
4. Black Pepper Sauce (I use Woh Hup brand)

5. Cheese (I used sliced)

Directions
1. Heat oil.
2. Add garlic.
3. Add cabbage (Advice: Don't stand too near the pan. I usually stay real far when the reaction between water and hot oil takes place)
4. Add black pepper sauce.
5. Add cheese. Mix. Serve.

All recipes that I put up here are idiotproof. Stop giving those excuses and whip up a healthy meal!
(N.B. "Healthy meal" is relative since when I receive from chefs here are bowls of oil and plates of salt.)

Waterless with bubbles

2006-10-19T00:40:00.000+08:00

There was a water supply cut today in my building, from 8am - 5pm (though there still wasn't water when I turned on the tap at 5.40pm before going for computer class). So I had my own ration exercise going on. I filled 4 bottles of water with water this morning to use to wash my hands after using the toilet. And when I used the shower just now, the water was sputtering, which scared me and pissed me off, because I expected better from this apartment building. Anyway, I have kept bottles of water in case I should find the water supply halted again one fine day. Am I being too paranoid? 'Coz Sam commented that I've become quite auntie when I suggested we split the money we'll be bringing to Yunnan (or Yangshuo now) by placing a little in our wallets and pockets, but keep the bulk of it in our underwear. Very auntie meh? I'm just taking precautions what...

My plans for a getaway with Sam to Yunnan is spoilt. The mid-term exam for my computing module (Microsoft Frontpage and Flash (all in Chinese ok)) will be on 1 November. I have been planning for our trip to be from 30 October to 6 November. Arrgh. Now either I still head to Yunnan after the exam (provided no other notification of exams bog me down), or head for a 5-day excursion to Yangshuo, Guilin, which I hope will not be an inferior substitute for Kunming, Lijiang, and Shangri La!

Haii. I had already written all the application for leave letters to my respective teachers...planned an itinerary (although quite rough la)...almost had to pay for plane tickets already...then this computing module just burst my ideas into bubbles...why doesn't F.U. provide an accurate schedule of when the exams for the specific modules will be so that we can better plan our activities? Sheesh Sheesh Sheesh.

$100 in Singapore

2006-10-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

Is it possible to spend within $100 touring Singapore?

Here's a proposed itinerary:

9am
Exit Bukit Gombak MRT (subway) station ($1.25 ride). Order a "teh ah lia" (Indian hot tea with milk, infused with ginger, $0.50) to go from one of the coffee shops and ask to "da bao" (takeout) - you might get it in a cool cup like this.
If you're adventurous, order "kaya toast" (toast with creamy coconut jam and small explosions of butter nuggets, $1) or, if you want to play it safe, head to a nearby mall to buy bread and pastries from "Breadtalk. Bring your breakfast to Little Guilin , an area with granite outcroppings from the Triassic age (200 million years old) for a quiet start to the day (free).

10:30am
Take a short walk and observe the public housing blocks inspired undoubtedly by Le Corbusier's Unite d'Habitation. Arrive at Church of St Mary of the Angels, a 3-year-old building, a church that seeks to reach out to modern times. The centerpiece is Jesus suspended free from the crucifix skylight. The WOHA designed church uses colors to represent different uses and inspirations (oak to represent importance, brown inspired by Franciscan robes). For lunch, take the MRT to Tanjong Pagar Station, to Maxwell Food Centre for a piping hot bowl of Chinese Porridge, pairing it with ceviche like raw fish. ($7)
There are other stalls selling food that's more familiar/similar to American Chinese takeout or Thai food. Wash them down with a Tiger beer ($2).

Dinner, Culture, Dancing, Sex after the jump!

2pm
Walk 5 minutes to Ann Siang Hill For shopping, check out the Asylum, a store that stocks designers ranging from Comme Des Garcons to local unknowns while being a studio for the designers (kind of like Reed in LES). Or maybe head to Front Row, both a gourmet grocer and a clothes retailer. If you're already starting to have late afternoon hunger pangs, check out the "Patissier for creations like beer mousse with custard and beer sponge cake, earl grey crème brulee with coffee beans. It's located in a Peranakan (Chinese Baroque-styled) shophouse, like most stores in Ann Siang Hill. After you've spent 20 or 30 bones, head to one of the newest museums in town is the nearby Red Dot Design Museum. Entrance is $3.50.

Dinner
The Turquoise Room(7 Lock Road, $25 each for dinner w/o drinks, tax included)
Unlike restaurants located in the by-now-congested Rochester Park, the Turquoise Room is nested in Gilman Village, a place that feels so private - it's finding a clearing amidst lush forest. Review trotters are notably absent in this place that's perfect for dining tête-à-tête. The décor is rustic Greek. The food is satisfying in its simplicity, yet not boring. Choose to sit out on the wooden deck, and a few glasses of wine later, you will think you are in Greece, some beach in Queensland, or maybe Heaven.

Post-dinner
Old Changi Hospital (Locate it yourself, free)
If you are the only person you know who likes the Blair Witch Project, visit Singapore. The Old Changi Hospital takes quite a bit of walking to get to. You might be disappointed to find that the place is flooded with teenagers armed with torchlights, but c'mon it's free and the teenagers try to scare you. Best rooms are the mortuary (when used as a hospital by the British) or torture chamber (when the Japanese invaded).

Late Night
You still have $30 left to dance your night away in Zouk, Ministry of Sound or the soon-to-be-open St. James Power Station - an old warehouse renovated into a huge multi-rooms club. If you don't want to take the chance of going to bed unlaid, head to "Fishtanks" in Geylang (NSFW). Shun, gawk or partake, this is the discrete version of Amsterdam's red light district. Houses on the even numbered Lorongs (streets) have specific architecture - screens that block direct views off while allowing you a titillating glance inside. (Market rates, but are negotiable). Wonderful 24-hour street food, durians and other edibles can be found on odd numbered streets if you're hungry for something else.

Source: http://www.gridskipper.com/travel/singapore/100-in-singapore-208295.php

You know, embarrassingly, if I were to meet someone who followed this itinerary and started discussing the places she/he went in my motherland, I think I can only enthuse about kaya toast, and maybe Maxwell Food Centre. I have never stepped into most of the places mentioned. Shame on me, huh?

Chinese English Name

2006-10-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

What's in a name?

"For the ever-pragmatic Chinese, adopting English names has always represented a way for them to bridge the linguistic and cultural gap. Now, as China widens its reach abroad and as the number of expatriates living in China swells, picking an English name has become a rite of passage for most young, urban Chinese." © Copyright 2006 Globe Newspaper Company.

Take a look at this video..

I burst out laughing at "Frog", "Dollar", "Samanfar" and "Smacker". The video didn't mean to mock, so I'm trying (hard) not to laugh. Many Chinese give themselves an English name either from the list of "normal" names (e.g. Jane, Mary); derive names from the meaning of their Chinese names; or they may actually call themselves anything they want. I have met 2 classmates with, lets just say, different, names. One is Echo, and the other, Distance. Distance feels that human interaction should maintain a certain distance in order to create beauty, and thus sorta made herself an icon of such a theory. :S

I still haven't come up with an English name for myself, though my recent selection is 'Xanne'. Haha, do you feel that I don't have the right to comment on my classmates' names because 'Xanne' is just as weird? My mother actually named me Sophia when I was little, in order to introduce me easily to her foreign clients. I only recently learnt that sophy in actually means "wisdom", which is the "慧" in my "慧娴", but it's a pure coincidence and not the product of my mother's meticulous research. Anyhow, Sophia doesn't suit me at all, I'm sure all of you can vouch for that. Oh well, I don't have an affinity with any English name...

Wait a minute, what about Affinity? Haha...

Pink Stupid Girls Video

2006-10-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

A must-see for all girls.

Mixed-Orientation Marriages - by Joe Kort

2006-10-17T17:09:00.000+08:00

Mixed-orientation marriages--in which one partner is straight and the other
is gay or lesbian--are becoming more visible. Ang Lee's Academy
Award-nominated movie Brokeback Mountain (2005), which depicted gay men who
fall in love with each other though they are heterosexually married, gave a
human face to what the media referred to as "Brokeback Marriages."

As homosexuality becomes more accepted by our society, more gay men and
lesbians feel comfortable coming out in their heterosexual marriages, though
the exact number of mixed-orientation marriages is unknown. Data on these
marriages is unreliable because of the inconsistent ways of defining "gay"
or "lesbian" in demographic research.

Statistics from the Straight Spouse Network contend that up to two million
gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals in the United States are or have been
heterosexually married. Demographer Gary Gates recently found that of the 27
million American men currently married, 1.6 percent, or 436,000, identify
themselves as gay or bisexual.

Research shows that more than 80% of mixed-orientation marriages end in
divorce. But divorce is not necessarily inevitable for these marriages.
When a gay spouse steps out of the closet, the straight partner usually goes
immediately in. Each partner has a "coming-out" process to undergo, but they
can negotiate this process together, as a couple.

Often, the dilemma of partners in mixed-orientation marriages is centered
not around sex, but around love. Some of these couples have been married for
decades; many have children, and have built good lives together; they feel a
deep and abiding love for one another. Neither has fallen out of love, yet
their lives have changed by virtue of one of the spouses's discovery of his
or her authentic identity.

The prospect of separating and divorcing is devastating, not only for them
but for their children as well. These couples usually do not want to
divorce. Just because one partner comes out does not mean that they stop
loving each other.

Keeping a Straight Face: Why Do Gays Heterosexually Marry?

Two popular questions are "Why do gay spouses marry in the first place?" and
"Why do straight spouses--consciousl y and unconsciously- -marry gay spouses?"

Part of the answer to the first question is that our society does not grant
permission for young people to explore alternative sexualities. Moreover,
our culture places enormous pressure on individuals to conform, especially
sexually. Heterosexuality and heterosexual marriage are privileged in all
sorts of ways. It is much easier for young people to marry heterosexually
than to discover their authentic selves.

Some of the gay men and lesbians who marry heterosexually hope that their
gay urges will go away. More often, especially among lesbians, they are not
even fully aware of their urges or at least have not labeled them when they
marry.

Gay men and lesbians marry heterosexually for a variety of reasons, ranging
from the need to conform to familial and societal expectations to a desire,
founded on a genuine love for their partner, to create a shared life with
their potential spouse. Some marry in order to have children, or to be taken
care of, to bond with a mother or father figure, to establish a cover or
"beard" for their gay activities, or in hopes that straight sex will "cure"
their desire for homosexual relations or, at least, keep that desire
strictly sexual.

Why Straight Spouses Marry Gay Men and Lesbians

Most straight spouses marry gay men or lesbians without knowing that their
partners are gay or lesbian. But some suspect it and others know it for a
fact. Those who know of their spouse's homosexuality often think that their
partners will grow out of their same-sex desires or that a good marriage
will cause the desires to dissipate.

Some heterosexual men and women who marry gay spouses are enablers, people
who display an approving and supportive attitude toward someone else's
self-destructive behavior or make it possible for them to avoid the
consequences of such behavior. Some straight spouses allow their gay and
lesbian spouses to "act out" their same-sex desires without really
acknowledging them, while neither of the spouses accepts the consequences of
such behavior.

Some straight spouses may be unconsciously drawn to partners who might
betray them. Perhaps while growing up, they experienced lies and witnessed
emotional boundary violations that remained unresolved and left them
traumatized. This kind of background can make the straight spouse
unconsciously seek a "familiar" spouse who will violate trust.

Some women think of men with homosexual tendencies as challenges. They may
believe that they are attractive enough to "convert" gay spouses or "rescue"
them from a life of misery.
Other women are drawn to men who are not anything like their macho,
patriarchal, abusive fathers in the hope that their partners will not
sexually or otherwise overpower them.

Still other men and women marry gay or lesbian spouses out of unconscious
interest in controlling or micromanaging a "flawed" partner.

Less is known about straight men who consciously or unconsciously marry
lesbians, perhaps because these men usually do not talk about the subject
and their reactions. They may find it humiliating to admit that their spouse
prefers sexual relations with other women.

"The Seven Year Switch": The Gradually Gay Spouse

Women repress their homosexuality more than do gay men. Though they may
engage in homosexual activity, gay men often do not label themselves as gay
until they fall in love with another man, whereas women tend to discover
their lesbianism when they experience sexual desire for another woman. The
crisis of identity felt by gay men in heterosexual marriages usually occurs
when they become emotionally involved with another man as opposed to merely
engaging in homosexual sex.

Some gay spouses act out in addictive ways to avoid dealing with their
sexual identity. They use drinking, drugs, and sex to evade the issue.
Often, gay spouses have no one to confide in, not even a priest, minister,
or rabbi. They find it hard to seek comfort in organized religion and
support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous. Without anyone to help them
articulate their innermost feelings, they bottle up their inchoate emotions
and fears, thereby slowing the coming-out process.

Before they consider being honest with themselves and their wives, gay
husbands typically want to have their cake and eat it too, believing they
can keep a wife and a boyfriend while not being honest about the latter.
They may rationalize that having anonymous sex with other men is not really
adultery or they may alter the definition of what they are doing from
"cheating" to "protecting" or "not wanting to hurt" their wife.

Going on the "down low" --i. e., secretly engaging in homosexual
activities-- can lead to such psychological fallout as depression and low
self-esteem, plus many other dysfunctional behaviors such as chemical
dependency, sexual addiction, suicide attempts, affairs, and unprotected sex
that may result in STDs, including HIV infection.

From Being on the Down Low to Straight Spouses Being in the Know

Few revelations are as dramatic and potentially traumatic as revealing one's
homosexuality to an unknowing spouse. How straight spouses react depends
largely on their personalities and experiences within the marriage. However,
anyone who is confronted with such a revelation needs to examine their
marriage and their role in it.

Some straight spouses go into the very closet their gay spouses are in the
process of leaving when they learn that their partner is gay or lesbian.
Once they acknowledge that they knew or suspected, on some level, that their
spouse is gay, they then have to deal with their own denial and, in some
cases, their homophobia homophobia, and the homophobia of others as well.

Some straight spouses feel humiliated, cheated, and fooled. They believe
that they have been victimized by their gay or lesbian spouse, who has
ruined their marriage and disrupted their comfortable lives. Most often,
they particularly resent their spouse's deception.

Some straight spouses grow so enraged that they refuse to examine themselves
and the situation from any perspective other than their own anger and pain.
These spouses typically make no attempt to reconcile or to understand their
partner's dilemma. They usually insist on a divorce and often attempt to
turn their children against their spouse.

Feeling a sense of betrayal in such circumstances is understandable, but
staying betrayed and embittered only perpetuates a bad situation. Those
straight spouses who cling to their negative feelings unwittingly betray
their loyalty to the gay or lesbian spouse who has inflicted pain.

If they decide to stay married, their motives may simply be their underlying
need to be attached to any spouse no matter what. Frozen in time and unable
to move forward in life, these women may cultivate their humiliation because
they enjoy the sympathy they receive as a victim.

Some straight spouses, however, feel relieved by the knowledge that their
husband or wife is gay or lesbian, which they often find explains things
about their marriage that they had found perplexing. They may have blamed
themselves for the problems in their marriage--especiall y sexual
problems--only to realize now that they were not at fault.

Others are happy to feel released from the obligation of having a sexual
relationship with their spouse and grateful to enjoy a continuing emotional,
non-sexual relationship.

Infidelity: From Blame to Accountability- -for Both Partners

Most extramarital affairs, whether straight or gay, result from one or both
partners' inability to achieve and sustain intimacy. While these factors
affect many heterosexual marriages, the gay spouse's predominant motive for
"straying" is to find and make authentic his true identity.

Gay and lesbian partners in heterosexual marriages typically cheat or act
out because they are living a lie and concealing a secret. Their conflict is
about their identity, not about their ability to love and bond with their
partner.

Typically, the straight spouse feels as though she or he did something to
cause the gay or lesbian spouse to seek out affairs with same-sex partners.
The gay partner is sometimes also willing to blame the straight spouse,
claiming that he or she was not responsive to their needs.

But both partners should realize that blaming the other is a futile
exercise. They should attempt to go beyond retribution to achieve an honest
relationship, whether or not they ultimately decide to divorce.

Coming Out as a Couple: Becoming Separate but Equal as a Couple

Both the gay and straight spouse have individual "coming-out" processes to
undergo. What is often overlooked, however, is the fact that the couple also
has to go through this process as well if they are to stay together. The
husband and the wife both need to explore--without blame or
defensiveness- -their individual motives and options as they assess their
marriage and contemplate the future.

For their love to prevail, a couple must honor each other's hurts and goals
and, in the process, help each other to explore and express the meaning of
their life together.

The four stages of this complex "coming-out" process in mixed-orientation
marriages, as developed by Dr. William Wedin, director of Bisexual
Psychological Services in New York City, are Humiliation, Honeymoon, Rage,
and Resolution.

The Humiliation stage occurs when the gay partner finally reveals his or her
secret and both spouses begin to agonize over the news. Typically, the
straight spouse blames herself or himself for not being "woman enough" or
"man enough" to keep their mate interested. Straight spouses may question
whether they ever really participated in the marriage and whether the
marriage was ever authentic.

The Honeymoon stage occurs when the partners agree to remain in their
mixed-orientation marriage. Typically, gay spouses who want to remain in the
marriage do so for one good reason: they love their straight spouses. With
both partners feeling loved unconditionally, they renew their marriage vows
on an emotional level.

The Rage stage occurs when both partners reach the limits of what is
tolerable. The straight spouse may have felt satisfied with the way things
were and wants to maintain the marriage as it was, but both partners realize
that they cannot retreat back into the closet. At this point, they often
feel the same sense of heaviness that descended upon them before the
disclosure.

During the Resolution phase, couples consider again whether to stay together
or separate. This is a question each partner should ask individually, and
the couple should broach it together. They need to express to themselves and
to their partner the type of marriage they want. They also need to weigh
what they have invested so far against what is at risk if they break up.
Other considerations to weigh include the loss of heterosexual privileges
for both of them.

Does Coming Out Have to Mean Getting Out? Deciding Whether to Stay Married

Professional therapists rarely present couples in mixed-orientation
marriages the option of staying together, even though this is often a
workable scenario. Most therapists consider divorce the only option for
these couples, and indeed it is believed that more than 80 per cent of these
marriages end in divorce.
However, before deciding on any course of action, a couple should clarify
what is important to each of them personally and also what they most value
jointly, as they negotiate whether it is possible to integrate the gay
spouse's homosexuality into their relationship.

Even more so than individual gay men or lesbians who come out, the
mixed-orientation couple feels pressured to adopt what for them seems to be
an alternative lifestyle. Making the process of adjusting to a new
relationship even more complicated, they have precious few role models of
what a healthy mixed-orientation marriage should be.

Many factors influence a couple's decision to stay together or separate:
their ages; personalities; their level of sexual openness; the degree to
which they are invested in each other financially, emotionally, and
psychologically; and their belief systems or religious views.

Mixed-orientation couples must learn to understand the special circumstances
that arise when a person comes out and identifies as a homosexual. The gay
or lesbian partner must also evaluate his or her relationship to the larger
glbtq community.

Many of the thousands of heterosexually married individuals who identify as
homosexual do not want to lead what they think of (sometimes based on
stereotypes) as a gay or lesbian lifestyle.

Many of these people are hetero-emotional. Although they are attracted
sexually to members of their same sex, they are romantically oriented toward
the opposite sex and cannot imagine themselves in a deeply romantic
homosexual relationship. Moreover, many of them delight in the domestic
pleasures of married life and the partnerships they have formed with their
spouses, and cannot bear the thought of losing the companionship and
nurturance of their partners.

Options

Many couples in mixed-orientation marriages decide to stay together and make
their marriage work. They frequently make various kinds of accommodations
for the gay or lesbian spouse.

They may allow the gay spouse to be sexually open but emotionally closed to
others, feeling that the real danger to their marriage comes from a possible
emotional commitment to someone else. They may experiment with "open"
relationships for both partners.

Some couples become part of the glbtq community as a couple. More often, the
gay or lesbian partner participates in the community on a limited basis,
permitted, for example, a night out each week.

Some couples agree to a so-called "Closed-Loop Relationship" in which the
gay husband or lesbian wife agrees to have a monogamous relationship with
one same-sex partner, thus avoiding the risks of promiscuous sex.

Sometimes, if the gay or lesbian partner is functionally bisexual, the
married couple continues their own sexual relationship. Other couples live
together as friends rather than lovers.

Often, however, despite their deep friendship for each other, couples in
mixed-orientation marriages eventually divorce.

A Family Affair: How--and When--Is It Best to Tell the Children?

Once the issues of staying together or divorcing are considered and a
decision reached, the couple has to decide how, when, and what to tell
others, including children, friends, therapists, clergy, and extended family
members. Resolving the situation is truly a family affair.

Studies show that most children of gay or lesbian parents do not regard
having a gay parent, by itself, as a negative factor in their lives. In
fact, divorce is often much harder on children than discovering that a
parent is gay or lesbian. (Still, couples in mixed-orientation marriages
should not stay together because of the children; such a choice puts undue
pressure on the children.)

The decision whether to reveal the nature of the mixed-orientation marriage
(or the reason for a divorce) to children is very personal. What to say, and
when to say it, depends on many factors including the children's ages and
personalities. Many children can handle the truth if it is presented
sensitively.

Homophobia and prejudice often pose real difficulties for children of openly
gay parents. In addition, children who have a gay or lesbian parent often
feel pressured to question their own orientation more than they would
ordinarily, especially if the parent is of the same gender. Such questioning
will not, however, induce them to become gay or lesbian.

Moving Forward: The Marriage that Never Really Ends

Even after a marriage ends, the love between ex-spouses in a
mixed-orientation union often remains unconditional, especially if they are
able to avoid a bitter divorce.

In many cases, the ties of the ex-spouses to each other continue, sometimes
in touching ways. For example, one lesbian with three children came out of
the closet and amicably divorced her husband. After some years, she and her
lesbian partner wanted to have a child together. She asked her ex-husband to
be the sperm donor so that their child would be a full sibling to their
other three children and he agreed.

A gay man I know divorced his wife and married his male partner but insisted
on wearing his wedding band on his right hand to honor his first marriage to
his wife.

Resources

Only recently has the topic of mixed-orientation marriages attracted much
attention in the therapeutic community. Many therapists are unfamiliar with
the particular dynamics of such marriages.

While a number of resources are available to the gay or lesbian spouse who
comes out, until recently the straight spouse could find little help in
dealing with the feelings of shock, hurt, anger, powerlessness, grief, and
self-blame that are typical reactions to learning that one's partner is gay
or lesbian.

In 1986, however, PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
formed a task force for straight spouses of gay men and lesbians. Jane
Vennard, former wife of a gay man, organized a cluster of regional contacts
and a handful of support groups for wives and husbands whose mates had come
out as gay or lesbian. Since then the Straight Spouse Network has grown to
become an international organization devoted to supporting the heterosexual
spouses of glbtq partners and mixed-orientation couples.

In addition to facilitating support groups, SSN also provides information
about family issues and mixed-orientation marriages to professionals,
community organizations, and the media.

The English website, www.marriedgay. org, also provides information for
married men who are gay or bisexual, as well as for their wives and
partners.

------------------------
http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/ mixed_orientation_marriages.html

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't you just love our world for being so diverse?

Other sights (or sides) of Shanghai

2006-10-16T16:37:00.000+08:00

Many tourists see Shanghai as a concrete jungle with her busy town centre, and a vibrant city with her upmarket shopping centres, and fashionably dressed Shanghainese. Only after spending more time exploring places other than tourist attractions do you see the underbellies of a place. I enjoy noticing the offbeat, the unfamiliar, the novel stuff to me and fellow countrymen. So I guess that's what this blog is for. To give you a glimpse of how life is like here, and to remind myself that...that I haven't explored enough. Haha.

Okay here goes...These were taken around Fudan University...

Yup, condom machines are a common sight, as what I said in my earlier entry. Found in almost every kilometre around the campus of Fudan University, one frills-free packet of condom costs 1 yuan (S$0.20).

Graffiti on walls of Fudan...I can make a whole collage of them but these two are the more interesting ones for now...
From left: “我的爱是可以分割的　一半给你　一半给她们”, “她爱口交　我爱性交”

Cotton Candy! 2 yuan!

Rabbits, mice, and chicks for sale.
Price list (haven't bargained yet): Rabbit - 35RMB, Mouse - 20RMB, Chicks - 2 for 5 yuan.
I was tempted to buy chicks even though they look quite sickly but CG kindly reminded me about the Avian flu.

Okay, there's more to come but sometimes it's not easy taking a picture of these illegal hawkers and their source-unknown goods. Actually it's really amusing to see them pack their stuff really fast and run or cycle away when the police arrive. Then the police just sit in their vans and enjoy the fear they have infused. It's a classic example of how the police are just 逢场作戏ing, because these hawkers are unstoppable. They will just hide for a while in the school compound before coming out to earn a living again.

I discovered an interesting row of sidewalk concessions while cycling home today. I took a different route and cut through a 小区 and was pleased to find a row of shops that sell things a tad similiar to Singapore's pasar malam, just that they're cheaper and sell more household-oriented products instead. I bought an ashtray from a hawker who didn't believe I'd buy it since I was a "小姑娘" and so trusted that I didn't smoke. I don't, but I don't know why I wanted to buy it. Haha.

The stalls

Hawker making a mop for customer

Cobbler and fixer of miscellaneous stuff

Dried stuff tanning in the sun to become more dry

Guards in the middle of the road

Stationery fetish

2006-10-16T15:46:00.000+08:00

Spare pens (brand new) + those I use in school + pens at home (that I don't use anymore)

means...

I have this many writing instruments with me now...

Is this a medical condition? Is there a scientific explanation for this? Haha...I don't know when it started but seeing that I have so many pens with me makes me realize that I've always felt insecure if I don't at least have 10 spare pens. Although I have more than 10 pens in my pencilcase, I actually only use one all the time: my favourite pen.

I've always felt it important to have a pen you really like to write with all the time, and so I am always in search of a suitable pen. And so I end up with lots of pens I don't want to use anymore, but can't bear to throw away.

Is this a psychological issue? Like perhaps my desire for companionship manifests itself in the search of a good pen, haha.

On turning 21

2006-10-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

So i'm about to turn 21, in slightly more than 3 weeks' time. I'll be stripped of all the benefits of being a minor. Recently a 16-year-old was let off for sharing music online due to his age. I like that benefit. Yes, I will get the freedom to sign certain necessary papers once I hit 21: mobile roaming service, for instance; free to enter certain pubs, but that isn't part of my lifestyle; entitled to watch films with "mature themes", but whats the kick since its pirated DVDs paradise here. Maybe I'll only feel the difference when I can enjoy "mature themed" theatre productions.

Basically that's all there is to it. Before 8 November 2006, I am already licensed to drive, can and have smoked, can and have drunk alcohol, can and have been involved in the workforce to earn money to support myself. So what is it that I'm looking forward to.

I enjoyed being cooed at for being so young at the places I've worked at. However, I have to fact it: I'm already a tad too old to be a sophomore, especially at a Chinese University. Most of my classmates are 2 years younger than me, have far more general knowledge than me, have very active school and social lives, and can live in far worse conditions than I have ever experienced.

So, tell me, why do we all make a big deal over being 21?

What's the point of the term "being given the key" when you know how conservative your parents still are and that it's going to be a long journey to seek approval from them on wanting to spend the rest of my life with another girl? They who deem Sam as being mentally and emotionally imbalanced to dress and act the way she does are the very people that are a key factor determining my happiness.

I have 3 more years to go before graduation (assuming I will). After a year here, I still haven't exactly established useful contacts, and my Chinese still sucks -- which makes my original intention of becoming effectively bilingual bleak. I joined the most time-consuming CCAs in both Secondary School and Junior College, even juggling 2 CCAs in the former, but now I totally don't even want to interact with others. How did this happen? There are times when I enjoy talking to strangers more than holding conversations with acquaintances and supposed friends. The one thing that keeps me company the most now is my laptop, and whatever part of the cyberworld that I can flirt with. I'm spending so much time in cyberspace that I barely know how to talk to people in meatspace anymore.

A song pops in my head:
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.

Though the version I remember goes like this:
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I think I'll go and eat some worms,
Big fat juicy ones, long thin slimy ones,
Itsy bitsy fuzzy worms.

First you bite the heads off
Then you suck the gizzles out
Look at them wiggle and squirm
Big ones, tiny ones, long thin slimy ones,
Itsy bitsy fuzzy worms.

The Great Firewall of China

2006-10-15T17:39:00.000+08:00

Do you know China only recently lifted the ban on blogspot? That's why I blogged at site after site dissatisfied with what they could offer, and could only view friend's blogs via an anonymous proxy server, aptly named, anonymouse.

Did you also know that Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol was banned in China (1931) for portraying animals and humans on the same level? "Animals shoud not use human language." I'm not too sure whether this ban has been lifted, but I found a good site that talks about internet censorship in the PRC. Till today, I still cannot access Wikipedia, which is a godsend encyclopedia, directly. Trying to sign up for Wordpress also directs me to a "this page cannot be accessed" error page, or simply a timeout page.

Censored content

Research into mainland Chinese Internet censorship has shown that censored websites include:

Websites belonging to outlawed groups, including Falun Gong, Tibetan independence, and Taiwan independence
News sources that often cover some taboo topics such as police brutality, Tiananmen Square protests of 1989, freedom of speech, democracy, and Marxist sites [3]. These sites include Voice of America, BBC News, and Yahoo! Hong Kong.
Sites dedicated to religious content, such as CBETA, a site that provides the complete Chinese Buddhist canon.
Web sites that host user content, such as Blogspot, Wikipedia, and Geocities
Web sites that contain obscenity, pornography and criminal activity
Blocked websites are indexed to a lesser degree, if at all, by some Chinese search engines, such as Baidu and Google China. This sometimes has considerable impact on search results."

How to tell you've been spending too much time on your computer

2006-10-15T11:21:00.000+08:00

As I crawled to bed at 4am, my eyes were burning, neck ached, and there's a funny feeling on my arm where the laptop presses against everytime I type. I still had thoughts about what to surf around on the internet for, or what to blog about as I was entering dreamland. I've downloaded more stuff, making my computer cluttered and slower. All the signing up at various photo sharing/organizing hosts, blogs, and various widgets has led to more junk mail received daily. I've been either using the computer or watching tv everyday. I think it's time to take a break from these pro-myopia, pro-neckache, and unproductive elements. Today shall be my com-free day, and I shall work on my writing and translation homework.

I need the computer to research and refer to though.

Happy 21st Dino!

2006-10-14T23:18:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to a close friend of mine, more popularly known amongst us canoe gals as Dino. Please place your mouse over/click the pic on the right side of the photobook as if you were flipping the pages.

She has been the underappreciated friend, and the unconscious matchmaker for me. She has always been there for me and all her other friends. I wish her many happy returns, and would like to tell her I'm real glad to have her as one of my close friends. I enjoy having her company, be it to eat endlessly at Sakae Sushi, at The Roti Prata House, the beancurd desert place at Chomp Chomp, watching movies, walking aimlessly or even picking her from work and driving to Sheng Shiong to shop for stuff I now munch on in Shanghai...Thanks for everything babe! May you be happy always, so keep that smile of yours and don't let things bog you down oK?

From Shanghai to Kunming

2006-10-14T14:27:00.000+08:00

I'm currently planning my getaway with Sam from 30 Oct - 6 Nov to Yunnan: Kunming, Lijiang, and ShangriLa. Planning an itinerary, albeit just a rough one, is really tiring. I still haven't got a very concrete plan, but things are falling into place I guess.

I just hope I'll be spending less than if I were to join a package tour. I've found a package tour from Shanghai to Yunnan: Kunming, Dali, Lijiang, and ShangriLa for 3680RMB per pax, inclusive of everything other than the extra entrance fee to certain places. Our flights to and from Kunming already cost a total of 1820RMB per pax. The air tickets I'm buying is already at a very special price -- a tour group air ticket, thanks to Vanessa's aunt. I'm crossing my fingers that I can get really cheap places to stay and affordable transportation from place to place. I don't intend to visit as many places as the tour itinerary, so I should be able to spend less, and admire more.

Looking at the map, it seems that we'll be so close to the borders of so many different countries and other states in China. It's a pity we don't have enough time and money to explore more.

Sights that scream YOU'RE IN SHANGHAI/CHINA

2006-10-13T01:11:00.000+08:00

1. Men who are middle-aged and over always wear leather shoes. With anything.

2. Eating & drinking on public transportation are allowed! Slurp away on the train!

3. Horns of cars can be heard 24 hours a day, everywhere you go.

4. Innards of animals are offered at greasy spoons. i.e. Ducks' hearts, livers etc. Penises of cows and lamb also available.
5. The haze in Singapore is chicken feet (also readily found in greasy spoons) compared to the air inhaled here everyday -- second-hand smoke in enclosed areas like the elevator, black smoke from vehicles while you pedal behind them, and dust from endless construction going on everywhere.

6. Airfare ads in the form of namecards are continually shoved at you (or stuffed in your bag or into your jacket pocket).

7. There are condom dispensers within almost every kilometre. They are also readily available in the vending machines in metro stations, amongst the drinks.

8. Poor folks scavenge for plastic bottles all day long at dustbins by reaching in the trash and digging.

9. Babies and toddlers walk around baring their asses through slits in their pants. Haha...I think of it as modern toilet training, and i'm sure it saves a lot of money on diapers.

10. Sometimes you see middle-aged people walking on the streets in their pyjamas, and even shopping in a hypermarket in them. You might have thought they were trying on the sleepwear at the hypermarket, but no, those are their clothes they're wearing.

11. There are lanes on the roads for bicycles.

12. People pee at bush corners along the road, especially cab drivers.

13. And of course, you will hear the gathering of phlegm (sounds like "krrrrahhh") and see spits on the floor everywhere you go.

15 Guidelines for Chinese Tourists Abroad

2006-10-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

Do not spit in public
Do not litter in public pages
Line up, don’t jump the queues at public venues
Do not make pictures when a sign says “no pictures”
Do not talk in loud voices
Do not polish your shoes with bed linen or the hotel towel
Do not smoke in Non-smoking areas
Wear proper clothes
Do not strip down to to the waist (for men) when it’s hot
Do not wear pajamas in supermarkets or on the street
Do not remove shoes and socks in airport terminals
Men, observe the “ladies first” rule
Flush after using the toilet
Do not block other pedestrians by walking side by side on sidewalks
Do not force foreigners to pose for pictures.

Source: Shanghai China Snippets - 15 Guidelines for Chinese Tourists Abroad, who got his source from Shanghai Daily

If the world worked in my favour...

2006-10-10T23:47:00.000+08:00

Dear [Squareface],

Greetings!

Glad to hear from you! Thanks for your support and application to [censored] volunteer program! However, we would like to choose volunteers who have gotten their bachelor's degrees in order to make our article more idiomatic, so I am sorry to say that we cannot take you in.

Anyway, thank you again and we expect your support in our community which is an active platform for communicating and where you can learn more about [censored] and help others at the same time. We are looking forward to your participation.

Kind Regards

Ahhhh! At last! All that slacking around has paid off! Yet another rejection! Yippee! Ha! I bet all those successful people are damn envious of my growing number of turndowns in my record so far. Haha to you, you, and you!

Barely Bikeless

2006-10-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

I was bikeless for only half a day.

I approached one of those sidewalk bicycle repair stands today and asked for a second-hand bicycle, but the dealer wouldn't budge below an asking price of 140RMB. When I asked the dealer which bicycles I should choose from, he just laughed and asked what kind of bicycle I wanted. The source of the second-hand bicycles is very dubious, and I think the rumours are true.

Am thankful that Grace sold me her old bike for 50RMB. Way cool. I'm still not used to riding on it though, it's a mountain bike, so my feet can't touch the ground fully. And its yellow.

Haha before I could get more than 5 people's opinion on the poll, I've already solved my problem.

Having had my bike unstolen for one year is actually unusual here. Haha. Every friend I have spoken to about my bicycle have had hers/his stolen at least once. So there were many stories and tips exchanged in regards to the range of locks available and what kind would guard off most thieves. So in conclusion of this short chapter in my story of my stint here, having your bicycle stolen is not a misfortune, but instead a necessary experience for you to assimilate into the culture here. This time I asked for it since I left my baby unlocked. Lets see if within the next 3 years I'll get my bike stolen (again) with a supposed thief-proof lock.

Here's in memory of my old bike...I didn't replace you fast because you didn't mean much to me, but rather, I replaced you fast because I needed you badly.

Damn lame.

Okay anyway, other trivia for today...

This is the first time I saw a Chinese wearing something that exclaims an expletive so loudly.
Okay I was quite restless during Philosophy class so I took pictures of what I had on the desk...

My Philosophy text (written by Fudan's famous Philosophy Professor, 王德峰), and my notebook. That is how I take notes for Chinese classes, I cannot do without my English explanations. Haha.

Then I had lunch with CG at Pizza House and here's the soup of the day!

In a ricebowl! Lol.

Suddenly Bikeless

2006-10-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

Bike thefts are rampant in the area of Fudan University. There are security guards employed in the school to not only ensure the safety of the students, but to scare away bike thieves. In fact, their job scope extends to placing the bikes neatly in the parking lots to ease students' task of parking their bikes when the bell is about to ring. I personally have made friends with one of these security guards so all I have to do is lock my bicycle and he'll park the bicycle for me, everytime I'm rushing for class (I'm almost always late, and always almost late). I have heard rumours that most second-hand bicycles are stolen bicycles. If you were to buy a bicycle from one of those sidewalk bicycle repair stands around Fudan, they'll ask you what kind of bicycle you want (tell them the design, colour, size that you desire), and you can go back a day or two later to buy "the bike of your dreams", because they will search for a bicycle that fits your description amongst the rows parked along classroom buildings, and hack the locks easily to sell it to you. I don't have much doubts about this rumour because CG told me he saw someone sawing away at a lock on a bike near his while a girl was waiting patiently, and CG saw his own lock having some saw scars and sawdust, proving that CG had a narrow escape with bike theft.

I've always felt that I'm quite lucky, although out of 5 Toto Quickpick tickets that I buy, 3 contain none of the winning numbers, and the other 2 may only contain 1 or 2 of the winning numbers, which is a far cry from a winning ticket. Nevertheless, when I've heard dozens of tales of how friends' bicycles get stolen -- be it within the first week of school, or how they bought 3 bicycles in 2 semesters -- I count my lucky stars that no one fancied my small rusty bicycle (it got rusty very quickly during last year's monsoon season. I like(d) my bicycle (that I had). I could always rely on it to take me safely across roads, to swerve away just in time from oncoming vehicles, but best of all, for not letting anyone take itself away from me. But just moments ago, I didn't even get the chance to bid it farewell.

I was careless. So maybe it wasn't the thief's fault, huh. The temptation was too great. The one time that I forgot to lock my bicycle was to be the last time I rode on it. I was distracted, because I had guests over at my place. It's the first time I had so many people over -- 11 others -- and I admit I was a little nervous because I barely knew 2 of them. They were people from 知和社(zhi he she), which I might elaborate later once I'm over this bike incident.

I am not fit to curse and swear at the thief because I probably should curse and swear at myself. Now I'm not sure whether I should buy another new bike, buy a second-hand one, or just walk to school everyday and take a bus once in a while. Prior to this, Sam wanted to get me one of those bicycles that are run by electricity, but I told her those get stolen even more easily. She has probably changed her mind about entrusting me with such vehicles of importance already. I don't have much money to spare so buying a second-hand bicycle will be the most feasible thing to do. However, I have 3 more years to go so buying a second-hand bicycle puts me at risk of having to buy yet another new one if the bicycle breaks down, and who knows it might very well be a stolen bicycle. A bicycle is my main mode of transportation here so I do need a good one.

I'm done being angry or frustrated. Amitabha. I helped a poor lad/lass possess a good mode of transportation.

PollPub.com VoteWhat should Suddenly Bikeless Squareface do?

How to tell when you're desperate to save money

2006-10-09T17:58:00.000+08:00

While supermarket shopping just now, I was busy comparing prices of the same products of different brands and choosing the cheaper one. I used to choose the one with the best value, or the best taste. Now I simply choose the cheaper one. Mom, you should be proud of me. All those years of following you walk to and from Bishan Central NTUC Fairprice Supermarket and Junction 8 Daimaru supermarket (now closed and has become another NTUC Fairprice supermarket) to compare prices of the exact same products in order to save at least 10 cents actually rubbed off on your daughter. Ok its two different cases altogether but sorta the same.

versus
Haha, I have to say sorry to the familiar Kraft singles slices of cheese that I grew up on...I'd rather try this chocolate (!) cheese instead now.

Can you actually tell the difference? The one on the left is priced at 1.59RMB whilst the other one costs 4.20RMB.

Corn. Left: 2.44RMB. Right: 5.35RMB. Which would you choose? Although the one on the right looks nicer.

Other trivia good to know while shopping in a supermarket in Shanghai...

You can choose pork with your hands.

Do they actually feel better knowing that the pork they buy has been caressed countless times? Does it make the meat more tender? But my concern is where these hands go after they touch the meat. I think if my hypochondriac brother were here, he'd wear gloves to the supermarket. Or maybe everywhere.

Babies and growing children can indulge in such cheese delights here! Ahh!

Wang Zai milk and Kewpie Mayonaise!

And here's some shots of beers that will shock you with their prices...

Hehe...I bought a bottle of Reeb today, 630mL for 2.30RMB! Ah, this is life.

Other things that are going to laugh in your face for living in Singapore are...

Kinder Bueno 5 for 22.90RMBOreos for 4.40 RMB

Divide the figures I provide you by 5 and you'll get the approximate amount in SGD. Haha, actually this post can be titled "Why you can get fat in China" also...

Well, to end this post, I shall laugh at myself, since everyone wonders why I have flown to Shanghai to pursue English Language and Literature...

...because "if [I] disapproval, [they] will drawback".

Why you still can get fat in China

2006-10-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

After redirecting myself to Shanghai(China) from my original intention of Queensland (Australia) for my undergraduate course, I thought that at least one good thing will come out of it: I will not gain weight. Everybody knows that Asian food is far less weight-gaining than the indulging feasts in the West. However, instead of munching on chips and gorging on burgers and other carbohydrate-filled delicacies, I eat bowls of oil and plates of salt.

Beijing 2008

2006-10-08T15:16:00.000+08:00

I saw an MTV for a song called"感动世界". At first I rolled my eyes, but as the song went on it actually warmed my heart, and I felt happy being here for a while. The MTV managed to sway me to feel proud of China and her people. The song is actually quite nice, though some parts may sound like it can crack some glasses. The BOCOG (Beijing Organizing Committee for the Games of the XXIX Olympiad) will only decide the theme song from those shortlisted in 2008, but I think this one has potential.

I'm going to apply to volunteer for Beijing 2008 (English version available). Wish me luck. I think there'll be many rounds of selections. They've begun recruiting volunteers in Beijing, and will open applications in December for those outside Beijing. This round is for helpers for the Olympic and Paralympic Games. There'll be other selections too, for city volunteers "to offer services at key areas around the Olympic competition venues and city-wide transport hubs, scenic spots and commercial areas". I hope they need city volunteers for Olympic City Shanghai (the Shanghai Stadium will serve as one of the Football venues for the 2008 Games) too.

*crosses fingers*

The Sound of Music

2006-10-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

Anyone alive must watch The Sound of Music. I chanced upon the show again while I was channel surfing, and watched it on CCTV Music Channel. It was in English! No Chinese dubbing whatsoever. Was so happy. It's a really fascinating show. It weaves in so many things seamlessly, it leaves me thoroughly impressed every single time I watch it. I believe I've watched it more than 5 times and yet I get more impressed with each viewing.

I remember I used to like Brigitta (3rd youngest girl) when I watched the show during my younger days. I thought she was very pretty and sweet, hehe. Anyway, there was a comment I managed to catch that I thought was really clever of the scriptwriter. Marta (2nd youngest girl) said "maybe the spider on the (Nazi) flags make people nervous".

Did you notice how certain scenes lacked continuity? See if you noticed right, in this site that talks about the bloopers in the movie.

Roots and Canals

2006-10-07T02:28:00.000+08:00

My mom and I have been discussing plans for her and my dad to come back to Shanghai with me after the Chinese New Year break next year, for about a week or so, so that we can go travelling together. She initially wanted to come over at the end of November, but after some discussion, she decided it's better for them to come over in February with me.

Just now over our phone conversation I suggested going to Fujian Province to you know, search our roots and all that, to have a look at where my grandparents came from. I received an immediate negative response. Apparently we still have some relatives there but my mom refuses to meet them because there was some incest committed within the family(!). Wow, there's actually something exciting in my mom's bloodline.

And then she informed me that her father was born in Singapore, her mother in Malacca, my dad's father in an unknown place in China, and she doesn't know where my father's mother was born (and she claims that my father doesn't know either). And she can't provide information beyond her parents era. All the grandparents mentioned above have passed on so...oh well. There goes my thoughts about seeking my roots, eh? Wanted to visit the exact village my grandparents came from...

Her reaction and comments are quite comical though, as they usually are. She's been calling me quite frequently these days, which spells m-i-s-s-i-n-g m-e but she always asks whether I've been in contact with my brother. Sheesh.

Oh yah, something interesting to note. Most Chinese greet each other with 你吃了吗 (Have you eaten)? My dad's opening questions to me (on MSN) goes like this:

Dad: How is BO?
Me: What is BO?
Dad: open bowel every morning?

Haii.

Time to start reading

2006-10-06T15:20:00.000+08:00

I haven't had a shower for more than 36 hours haha. 'Tis the way of life when the weather turns cold. Okay to make things clear, I usually shower at least once a day, in the evenings before I go to bed. But I have cocooned myself at home for the past 2 days so I thought I could save some litres of water.

Cooping myself up at home with not much food allows eateries to earn money from me. I have a number of takeaway menus for the period of hibernation during winter.

I need more, though. Back in Singapore, the only takeaway numbers I knew were Pizza Hut/KFC, and McDonalds (never called). Here, literally every eatery accepts takeaway orders. Ah, bless these hardworking competitive bosses of the F&B industry.

I just had Tuna Sushi from Roll & Pork for lunch.

This cost me 15RMB.

Which is expensive for me right now actually. I'm trying to keep the cost of my meals less than 8RMB per meal, which isn't hard as long as I maintain self-control, which I haven't been.

This week of holiday hasn't been that fruitful. I was supposed to get ahead of my studies, but now I haven't even caught up. In order to afford taking a week off from school when Sam is here (which, by the way, is in 3 weeks), I need to get ahead! I've been spending my days online, surfing around things I can't even remember now. I haven't gained much knowledge of current affairs nor understand Buddhist Philosophy any better, but instead learned about the various widgets available for my blog. Sheesh.

Books Galore

2006-10-06T13:46:00.000+08:00

Coming from a country whose population only comes into contact with pirated DVDs, VCDs, Music CDs, downloadable music, and the occasional chewing/bubble gum, allow me to introduce to you a splendid source for students and avid (but thrifty) readers -- pirated books.

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, Special illustrated Collector's Edition. I bought this from one of those carts by roadsides (they are all over, especially in areas around schools) for about 22RMB.

These books are generally alright, though I've heard of people who bought the paperback Da Vinci Code and had maybe a few pages of Harry Potter in it. Some look so genuine you really can't tell the difference (maybe except the paper quality). For this Da Vinci Code that I bought, the only problem is that the pictures are in black and white. But it doesn't bother me.

Then there are textbooks. I'm sure many college students groan at the cost of textbooks. Not for foreign students in China.

This is my Linguistics text, and a reference book for a Gender Studies elective I took during my first semester. Both books were written by Fudan professors/lecturers, and they cost me 29.50RMB and 22RMB respectively (excluding discounts, which is offered at practically every bookshop).

My most expensive reference book so far cost me 68RMB (before discount), which is a text on Psychology and Life, in English. The English original version probably costs about S$50?

This is also an original Pearson edition (but reproduced by Beijing University Press), though you gotta bear with the cover and introduction in Chinese, black and white pictures, and inferior paper. Nevertheless, the text is in English and that makes me happy enough. I requested to answer the exam in English because I don't want to be bogged by having to use Chinese to express my thoughts regarding something as personal as psychology. I bought the pirated Chinese version of this text though, at another one of those carts, for 22RMB.

The book is turned to the 2nd chapter for comparison purposes. I know I'll take a damn long time to read the text in Chinese, so I'm thankful that this particular teacher allows me to answer in English.

Our texts also come in other forms, namely, photocopying and binding orginal texts (infringing copyright laws).

Other than the cover and binding, the rest of the book has been photocopied from the original book. It is then sold cheaply to students. I can actually photocopy any book in this fashion as well.

Then there are those second-hand bookshops that I have no idea where they get their books and magazines from. There are also the same carts that sell backdated copies of National Geographic, Newsweek, TIME, People, etc. Books in the second-hand bookshops are arranged according to price instead of genre, and so it's a case of fate if you get your hands on a book you want. Books are priced at 10RMB and 20RMB, ranging from very used books to almost brand-new ones.

These are originals! Where did they get them from? Sheesh.

There are even weirder options. Buying uncorrected proofs of novels, which are slightly cheaper.

Okay, that's enough "book reviews" for today. Haha. Don't you love piracy? From a perspective of a student studying in China, it provides an avenue for poor students to appreciate literature, and gain insight into the world. I mean, which would you choose, to buy a fresh copy of the latest issue of TIME magazine for 40RMB, or read it one week later at 5RMB? It's not like I'm some businessperson who has to be instantly up-to-date all the time, so I choose the latter.

I decided to embrace Chinese student culture so I bought a schedule book (15RMB, before discount) from a bookshop and gave up using my Keny organizer (S$10), for obvious reasons.

Admit it, its quite cute. Haha. It contains pages from August '06 (which coincides with start of school year) till December '07. Well, it serves its purpose, so I go to bed happy.

Tired of creating blogs. Blahlogspit is here to stay.

2006-10-05T11:19:00.000+08:00

I have tried soooooo many other blogs, and I admit defeat to the almighty blogspot, that has well-acclaimed support all over the world. There are so many other programs and sites that support blogger, and things can be easily done. We have a winner.

If I were to decide on the Best BlogHost Award, the runner-up would be blog.com. My switch from blog.com to blogspot.com is akin to my moving from the foreign students dormitory to an apartment outside school actually. At the dormitory, paperwork is easily done, getting people to do repairs was too easy, but it didn't offer much freedom. At my present apartment, things may be more tedious, but there's lots to explore, just like how I can change styles, layout and play around with html in blogspot, something I couldn't do in blog.com.

Wordpress might be better than blogspot for all I know, but having a China proxy denies me access to plenty of places. In fact, it was only recently that they seemed to have lifted the ban on blogspot, or else I'll probably be using some obscure bloghost that few have heard of.

If you want to set up a blog and have almost all day to explore in the networld, here are the sites I have tried or checked out:

And if you suspect you are banned from certain sites, you can surf anonymously with an anonymous server using Anonymouse.

4.48 Psychosis. And Her. And Her.

2006-10-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

I went to Shanghai Dramatic Arts Theatre today to watch 4.48 Psychosis (in Chinese) with Vanessa. Spent more time travelling to and fro than watching the play itself. Barely talked to Vanessa too. The play intrigues us, and it seems that Vanessa is more than meets the eye. I find that we have quite similar thoughts and opinions, which somehow surprises me, really. We're not the type of friends who hold very forthcoming conversations nor hang out that much, but she is the closest Chinese friend I have so far, and I'm contented to have a friend of such quality. The rest are but mere acquaintances.

Please click on the pic to have some background music while you read on.

"4.48 Psychosis is a 1999 play by British author Sarah Kane. It was her last work, seemingly meant to be produced posthumously. The play has no explicit characters or stage directions and at times on the page appears more similar to an E. E. Cummings poem than a performance piece. Therefore, stage productions of the play vary greatly, from one to several actors in performance.
The play is written from the point of view of someone with severe bipolar disorder, a disorder which Sarah Kane herself suffered from. A repeated motif in the play is "serial sevens": counting down from one hundred by sevens, a bedside test often used by psychiatrists to test for loss of concentration or memory. The title of the play refers to the exact time of night around which suffering people report feeling very clear and cold whilst - for those outside - they appear to be suffering the most intense psychosis.
Upon completing this play, Kane attempted suicide but was soon discovered and rushed to hospital. Due to short staffing Kane was left alone for three hours during which time she hanged herself with her own shoe-laces. She died on February 20, 1999. 4.48 Psychosis was first staged nearly a year and a half later in June 23, 2000, at the Royal Court's Jerwood Theatre Upstairs."

Source: 4.48 Psychosis." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 04 Oct. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/4-48-psychosis

More on this play here, and a good one but uncopyable and pay-to-read-whole-essay here.

The content probably has universal appeal, forcing us to question what it means to be sane/insane. Which will in turn lead us to question every other standard that we know of.

The course of events today does provide me some food for thought. Whilst walking to the theatre, lots of memories of her flooded back. Those long walks from one end of Nanjing Road to the other, from Jing 'an Temple all the way to The Bund, from Peoples Square to Huaihai Road to Xintiandi, she taught me how to walk to all these places, while I followed blindly all the while, more caught up with our endless sharing of life stories and ramblings than familiarizing myself with the directions. Starting from a mere dinner meet-up, we became companions in this foreign land -- from playing at the rides at the Global Carnival (Amusement park) to appreciating masterpieces at the Art Museum; from watching Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew in the theatre to watching Harry Potter in the cinema; from eating at roadside stalls to dining at Ya Wang Restaurant; from visiting dirty toilets to peeing in 5 different hotel toilets in a night; from drinking cans of beer and smoking till 5 plus in the morning to carrying me back when I got drunk -- these are invaluable memories that are etched in my mind even till now especially since I haven't found any other companion here. I had to ask 3 people along the way to the theatre today, unable to recall how we walked there previously since she was always the guide. And then I got lost after the play, and walked to Hengshan station, one station away from my original destination, ChangShu Road station. Sometimes I wonder whether its impossible for me to have a good sense of direction even after living alone overseas. I'm still struggling with the buses and their routes whenever trying to get home from downtown. She was always able to provide me with good bus routes to take.

Whilst I was having such a splendid time with her, Sam was taking Prozacs to calm herself. It was the worse time for any long-distance relationship: the threat of infidelity. Sam was taking Prozacs even before I told her the truth, and was making cuts on her arm to hurt herself, and inevitably, me. She knew it even before I told her. I will probably never understand what was going on through her head when she had depression and cut her arm because she will never hurt me like how I hurt her. And I never understood guilt until that point of my life because Sam had a major van-taxi accident right after I came clean. Her hospitalization, her stitches, her scars -- I deserve them, not her. All she did was love me with all her heart and yearn for our major reunion 4 years later, but the flimsiness of my end of the attachment took a great toll on our relationship during my first semester.

I was worried for a while, about Sam, about her excluding herself from all other activities other than work; about her clinging on to me and my every word over the phone, and her incessant tears. I was damn worried about her needing to take anti-depression pills. I didn't want to literally drive her crazy.

Till this day I am remorseful for not having been there for Sam when she was in the hospital, to wait for her to get her stitches done, be the first person she saw when she opened her eyes after the operation, help her get cleaned and changed, feed her with nutritious food, etc. She struggled through much of the ordeal single-handedly, and still has a phobia of driving past the cross-junction at Upper Serangoon Road.

The protruding scars on her arm never fail to remind me of that dark period -- how one thing just led to another, and somehow led to yet another.

Of course all is well now, but today's play and the location of it brought back memories and forgotten feelings and thoughts that got lost in daily grind. Sam and I rarely mention about that dark period now, and instead bathe in the blissfulness of our happy togetherness that we have been fighting for. We are handling our LDR better, and the dark period paradoxically reaffirmed our love for each other.

The play I watched today continues my questioning of yardsticks used in today's world, especially in social contexts.

Extra info: Song playing in your media player if you actually listened to me haha is Gloomy Sunday, version sung by Sarah Brightman.

Sunday is Gloomy, My hours are slumberless,
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy
with shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all
Soon there’ll be flowers and prayers that are sad
I know let them not weep,
Let them know that I’m glad to go

Death is no dream,
For in death I’m caressing you
With the last breath of my soul I’ll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday
Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you
Asleep in the deep of
My heart
Dear

Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you how much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday

What are your thoughts when you are reading this?

2006-10-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

As you read or skim through these words of mine, do you feel disgusted? Are you smiling or somewhat frowning with displeasure? Do you get inspired by my thoughts and information provided or do you think they're all balderdash and wish I would just give yet another blog up?

Because there are some blogs I read and feel sickened by what I read. I confess, it may arise from inner jealousy and insecurity, but it is these blogs that I read that make me feel like sticking to writing a manual diary instead of publicising my thoughts in such a broadcasting manner.

I hope my venturing into other blogs stop, because it takes up far too much time and my eyes are taking the toll.

Check out this site on buddhism.

"One of the Buddhist teachings is that wealth does not guarantee happiness and also wealth is impermanent. The people of every country suffer whether rich or poor, but those who understand Buddhist teachings can find true happiness."

"Buddhism is also a belief system which is tolerant of all other beliefs or religions. Buddhism agrees with the moral teachings of other religions but Buddhism goes further by providing a long term purpose within our existence, through wisdom and true understanding. Real Buddhism is very tolerant and not concerned with labels like 'Christian', Moslem', 'Hindu' or 'Buddhist'; that is why there have never been any wars fought in the name of Buddhism. That is why Buddhists do not preach and try to convert, only explain if an explanation is sought."

"The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want,etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. A lifetime of wanting and craving and especially the craving to continue to exist, creates a powerful energy which causes the individual to be born. So craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn."

This makes so much sense. Theoretically speaking, if everyone could aim to attain this, there just might be that possibility of world peace. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Will I ever see my brother again?

2006-10-03T20:09:00.000+08:00

No I'm not gonna whine about missing my brother. I don't. Well, not really at least.

My brother and I have quite an amicable relationship, which many may envy. However, we are not close.

My whole family isn't close to begin with, actually. But my brother is drifting away real far at this point of time, and he has only left home for less than a year. He doesn't really answer my parents' calls, doesn't reply to my parent's emails nor MSN messages, and only talks to me once in half a year or the like. We barely exchange a few sentences over MSN about once in 2 or 3 months.

He told me he doesn't want to go back, at least not in the near future, not while he's still studying there. I just can't help wondering whether he'll go back at all. He doesn't want to go back during Chinese New Year because he feels that relatives say the same thing everytime and there's really no point. He would rather be where "theres so much to explore", than discover how his nieces and nephews have grown up, or how his parents have aged.

Will he ever return home? Does he care about us at all? Has he turned into a Singaporean misfit with his Ang Moh tendencies rooted in him? Has he forgotten about filial piety? I still remember that he told me that I could feel free to leave for another country to be happy with Sam and he'll take care of our elderly parents back home. HA. I knew I couldn't depend on you, dear brother.

I just wish my parents knew. I wish my mother knew and would give up lavishing her hard-earned life savings on him just so he can go explore where she doesn't bear to in order to lavish on him. I detest his selfishness. He even talked about continuing to study after this degree, when he already took an extra semester after changing his major from Chemical Engineering to International Relations.

I don't know what to say. My parents always ask me whether I talk to you, which is when I realize you don't talk to any of us anymore. Well, have a good time, 'coz I guess the best way to look at this is that at least one of us in our family is as happy as he can be where he is.

Writer Wannabe

2006-10-03T19:07:00.000+08:00

I wish I could write. Well.

I spent quite a large amount of time online last night sieving through the results of my google search on "Writing contests". There are actually an abundance of writing contests ongoing at any time of the year, to my shameful ignorance. However, even after shortlisting some competitions I would like to take a shot at (which aren't many since I only want to join those that are free), I don't think I stand a chance. Yup, that's half the battle lost with such a mindset even before I begin to write, huh.

Most want fictional short stories. I have never had a hand in that. But yeah, it's time to start, I suppose. Maybe that's why I'm so weak in improvisation during those electone classes. I currently have 2 contests I would like to try. The UH Writing Awards, and the Student Writing Contest by TransitionsAbroad.com. I would also like to apply to be a freelance writer at suite101. Ahhh, all these dreams. They actually arose from my desiring more money, since I'm quite concerned that I don't have enough money to travel to the places I want to with Sam. I hear about how my compatriots and peers seem to write and get paid for it, like it's so easy. How come I lack so much and offer so little?

I've joined some writing communities such as writing.com, spoiledink.com, and gather.com (somewhat more like a stories and pics sharing community), but the pressure to write standard articles are there since I'll be rated with each article reviewed. I joined other communities in the past but never really submitted any articles, haha. Typical inertiasome me. I also signed up for many blogs and gave them up, including the one I'll be giving up today, at blogsome.com. I thought of giving this blog.com up and heading over to blogsome.com since its powered by wordpress and seems to offer much more. However, it's not very dummy-proof. There are lots of CSS and other code stuff which I can't seem to grapple with, so forget it, I'm sticking to blahlog, althought I can't change my blog skin and my advertisements. I was hoping to use Google Adsense to roll in some money, but bah, can't do it here unless I upgrade to a non-free blog.

Yes, as you can see, I'm getting hungry for money. Keep wanting to make money out of whatever I can. I managed to sell my mini-bar fridge yesterday to another Singaporean for 350RMB, which I bought for 599RMB. That's the best price I can get for selling a second-hand fridge. PRC Chinese would offer me 100-200RMB. My fridge is in excellent condition, but yeah, if no one uses it soon it'll probably spoil, according to Sam. So 350RMB is better than what others would offer, and way better than nothing.

Money! I want money!

26 more days...

2006-10-02T20:36:00.000+08:00

...till her arrival here. And I haven't got travel plans! After doing some research on the internet, books, and some verbal recommendations from people, I'm contemplating on going to either Guilin (Yangshuo), Yunnan, or Inner Mongolia. Really haven't got clear ideas! For all three places I'd like to explore and take in their sceneries. Mountains and waters in Guilin and Yunnan, and possibly the desert in Inner Mongolia.

I do regret not applying for the foreign students scholarship during the first week of school. Who knows I might have been selected and I won't be fretting about money right now.

I'm even considering buying stuff from here and selling them online...

Happy Birthday Ah Duh

2006-10-02T01:17:00.001+08:00

It was my Ah Duh's birthday today! Okay, maybe about an hour ago. I don't care if it was China's National Day, nor Singapore's Childrens' Day, or whatever other occasion it was. To me, it was Duh's birthday and I wish the day could have been better for her. She had a fever and was in bed practically the whole day. Only spoke to her for less than 5 minutes, and didn't even sing her the birthday song. Whilst she was fighting the virus, I was in town having quite a good time with my friend Vanessa. Not THAT kinda good time okay, just a friendly good time.

Duh (pun intended) of course I want to be there for my Ah Duh and try to make it all better but how the hell can I do that here. By talking sweetly over the phone, by sending messages of concern with cute emoticons...hope those helped somehow in making her temperature drop.

If she had a computer she could see that I'm thinking about her now...
In Shanghai...
With her goddaughter...

At Escape Theme Park...On the flume ride hee...

'Twas a happy reunion in Jan '06

Can't believe she's 28 actually...28!

Spirit of the Dance!

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

One thing I lurrrrrrrve about Shanghai is actually its black market. Okay the term "black market" makes it sound very illicit, very dark. In actual fact, it's just a harmless way to give poor folks like me a chance to enjoy life. Haha. Take today's Spirit of the Dance performance. The tickets ranged from 180-880RMB. I'm not even willing to pay 180RMB. So Vanessa (my Chinese friend from English class) and I bargained around before the show but none were willing to give us a price we wanted (way less than 180RMB). I refused to budge even when some of those hawkers were selling us 480RMB tickets for 200RMB and the like. Finally, at 7.30pm, when the show was just about to begin, the ticketing booth(!) offered us a good price of 100RMB each. Ha. We still bargained for 2 tickets for 180RMB (buy one get one free) and made our way in. Our seats were way at the top, but we spotted empty seats at the front row, so we rushed down the stairs and sat comfortably with a really good view. I think those were actually 780RMB seats. Splendid. Of course we kept thinking to ourselves that maybe we could have bargained for an even lower price, but heck, the show was great and well worth the money. Its human nature to keep wondering whether we could actually have had a better bargain, but yeah we gotta learn when to let go.

~tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap~

~tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap~

Before going for the sense-satisfying performance, we went to eat at 吴江路, ate 生煎, which is actually xiao long bao with a burnt bottom. Quite nice actually.

Its National Day for China today. This was taken on the bus while I was on the way home. Wanted to catch the bus driver using his handphone whilst driving but I didn't manage to whip out my phone in time to snap it. But not to worry, I'm sure there are plenty of chances to do so.

Thank you, Ms Lu!

2006-09-30T14:58:00.000+08:00

Am happy today. My Close Reading teacher sure brightened up my day! To think I was worried that I offended her yesterday, sheesh. If I'm able to talk to her about stuff who knows she might be my counsultant for my thesis paper in year 4. I might be able to get her recommendation for at least the foreign students' scholarship next year even. Ahhh! I like her already!! Haha, not in that way la.

I mustered up some courage to ask her whether I could apply for leave from her classes for week 9 or 10, depending on when the mid-term exams are. I told her the truth, that I wanna go for a holiday with a relative from home. Yay yay yippee yay its approved! Now I can start making concrete plans for hiking with Sam. The only problem now is money haha.

Think before you speak, Squareface

2006-09-29T17:28:00.000+08:00

I have a thought that has been bugging me all day. At the end of my Close Reading (English) lesson, my teacher asked if I would mind sharing my composition with the class. She gave me the highest score in class, though I seriously don't think I deserve it la. Its not false modesty, it's really what I think. If I worked hard on that paper maybe I would be happy, but I didn't. It was a slipshod piece of work and she gave me 91. And she told the class thats about the highest she would give, she rarely gives higher than that. Thing is, I told her no problem, can share with the class, but I don't think its very good. Argh. After those words came out I felt like I just screwed my future in her class. I think I won't be receiving any more good grades from her. I just insulted her judgement! Argh! What's wrong with you, Squareface?

Apparently this teacher is very strict with her grading system. She declared on the first day that she won't be giving any As, and the highest she has given so far is an A-. I do want to be the one to change her mind, but oh well. Just now, I was imagining myself going up to her office and asking about taking a week's off to spend time with Sam when she comes over to Shanghai. It might make me further away from obtaining an A, skipping her classes, but I envisaged myself telling her that I think spending time with my girlfriend is more important than getting an A. Moreover, I was hoping to take a week to explore some part of China instead. If I have to go for her lessons, then I'll only be able to take 4-5 days max. Instead of lying to her (by asking my friend to cover up for me and saying I'm sick during my absence), I think I'll have to approach her soon with the truth regarding this issue. Argh.

Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow we're following Wednesday's class schedule. Why? Because China has a National Day holiday starting on the 1st, and we'll be having a whole week's worth of public holiday, BUT we have to compensate for the loss of lessons by having a Wednesday tomorrow, and a Friday on the 8th. People have to work during these two supposed-to-be rest days too, in order to enjoy a full week holiday.

Tap tap tap

2006-09-29T17:00:00.000+08:00

I've paid up for my tap dance lessons! Will be starting to tap my feet on 14 October. Sure hope it goes well. Rather happy, because I started looking for classes since last year, but wasn't able to find any affordable ones. Even when there were available classes ('coz got sooooo many Latin, Jazz, Hip-hop but nooooo tap dance), they were mostly for expats and that just equals expensive. Jazz du Funk's classes are 100RMB per class! One hour only! The one I signed up for cost me 455RMB for 10 lessons, each lesson 2 hours! That's about 23RMB per hour. Cool. Cheapest I ever found. I'm grateful to Edulife, for making this possible for me. Haha. I just signed up online, and they send the package to my doorstep, and I'm ready for class on 14 October liao. So shiok. Most of these classes are double that price, but this one offered National Day promotion at half price. I just hope I'm not scammed.

Okay, since I'll have to go downtown on Saturday evenings, I might as well take up those keyboard lessons I've been wanting to take too.

It's time to go downtown, everything's waiting for you...

Supermarket Shopping

2006-09-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

Been running low on food supplies lately and so I went 大润发 (RT-Mart) today. It's a hypermarket that has more variety than Carrefour, and is within 1km from my apartment. Its really big, and I can basically get whatever I need there. I have decided to venture into living more into Shanghai culture, especially by eating their food. If you see the items I bought in the past, it looks like I have been having cultural schizophrenia, 'coz I keep sticking to what I'm familiar with. E.g. Nestle milk, Fuji apples, american brand bread. Today, I decided that its time to go full blast, or at least half blast, into living a Shanghai life. This means adjusting to China brand stuff, eating different fruits, drinking milk from paper (flat) packets instead of boxed ones, etc.

From left to right: No-frills bread (salted!), Milk and yoghurt drink packets, sausages, sausages (meat view), 山东人生果 (Ren Sheng fruit from Shandong), Cherry tomatoes! (never tried the orange ones in my life before today), lemons (top lemon is from Sichuan, bottom lemons imported from America. Want to see the diff. other than price)

It's much better making a visit there on weekdays, because during weekends many things are out of stock, or whatever's left is just plain lousy. Its a total market on weekends, and in the live food area (fish, meat, crab) the hawkers are shouting and all like its a wet market. Smells like one at that area too.

Check out the bubbles coming out at the top of this crab...proves that these crabs are tied up alive...Sorry I couldn't take a better picture 'coz I was trying to take these pics discreetly...

Soyabean milk, yoghurt drinks, and milk that come in these packets cost much cheaper.

I must introduce my baby to you! My reliable bicycle! I need her to get to and from school everyday, and surrounding areas.

Okay, I'm feeling rather sleepy now, so do forgive the very boring narration today. Don't know why I feel so sleepy even though I only had one class today. It's probably from the cooking. Haha. So tedious. 'Coz I actually cooked a psedo-cake using chocolate and butter but it got burnt. Twice. So I spent my evening scrubbing away at my saucepan. *sigh* Just not cut out to cook la.......

Milky Carrots

2006-09-28T20:50:00.000+08:00

Milky Carrots
The sharing of the following recipe would not have been possible without Marta, who taught me how to make some simple dishes during her 2-week stay at my place.

Serves 1-2

Ingredients

Carrot, sliced
Onion, finely chopped
A little oil
Milk
A pinch of salt

Instructions

Add onions in hot oil
Add carrots, cook till a little soft
Increase fire, add milk
Sprinkle the pinch of salt over dish

Comments from Squareface
Being lazy by nature, I didn't chop onions, not wanted to clean up after using oil. So I boiled the carrots with minimal water until the carrots were soft, drained the water, then added milk. When I realized it didn't look like the one Marta cooked, I added cheese haha. Tasted pretty good, but maybe anything with cheese becomes good haha.

Simple Salad

2006-09-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

Simple Salad

The sharing of the following recipe would not have been possible without Marta, who taught me how to make some simple dishes during her 2-week sojourn at my place.

Serves 1-2

Ingredients

Cucumber, sliced

Cherry Tomatoes, sliced

Hard-boiled egg, sliced

Mayonaise

A pinch of salt

Instructions

Mix well.

Comments from Squareface: Ha. Simple enough for a cook-idiot like myself. Feel free to experiment with other fruits/vegetables.

Of Stench and Trench

2006-09-28T01:23:00.000+08:00

Check it out. This is the kinda environment I grapple with modules day in, day out. The stench as you walk along the corridors can be really choking. Urgh, I don't even wanna think about it. Lets just say that with every trip to these toilets (only when really desperate of course), my breath-holding skills get better. I think my leg muscles may have grown somewhat more resilient too, what with squatting above drain-like cubicles, and balancing horse-stance style over W.C.s, and cycling as a mode of transportation in Yangpu district.

Marta and I were trying to concentrate and listen attentively in Psychology class, but too many students were talking and daydreaming about other things was just too tempting. Marta's notebook filled with our games of tic-tac-toe and the stroke game.

Hey I spotted this at one of the restaurants near my school. Its our dearest Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, having been given some sorta honourable thingy at Fudan.

My Humble Abode

2006-09-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

By popular request (yeah right, I haven't made this blog public, if I even intend to), I'm letting you see how my apartment looks like! Friends from OnlyDinner have kindly been curious...

From left to right: My apartment building, My building lobby (yeah they have red banners with slogans like that all over China), My living room (view from main door), my living room (view from sofa), my bedroom (view from bedroom door), my bedroom (view from study desk), my little corner (window sill/ledge beside the bed), the refreshing and relieving room, the little kitchen, the laundry room.

Ok its so much more convenient uploading my pics like that with dropshots than with this blog's pathetic album system.

I feel the huge difference staying here from the dorm everyday. It's quite hard to really put into words how I feel about this change of environment. I'm just happy where I'm living now. Especially during my second semester, I felt really cooped up in a cell back at the dorm. But maybe it's just me, bigger surface area need bigger living space la. heh.

The greatest relief is I don't have to feign a smile and act happy that much anymore because I don't bump into certain people that easily now. Phew.

DVD Paradise

2006-09-25T17:21:00.000+08:00

I am in a land where pirated DVDs are instantly accessible. Pirated anything at my doorstep, actually. I went to a place teeming with DVDs at dirt cheap prices with CG, his Shanghainese classmate, and the latter's girlfriend yesterday. Not exactly a wholesale centre, but I am able to get orginal DVDs, in their orginal casing, at "jump down building" prices (跳楼价). Their cases may be a little damaged, or dirty, but are generally still pleasing to the eyes. These orginal DVDs were either smuggled goods, or rejected, or confiscated and damaged with a hole at the side of the cover (打口) and then redistributed to these vendors. Amazing isn't it. So easily accessible to me. Many music cds as well. And of course, all the usual pirated DVDs that they burnt. You've gotta take your time and sieve through the material, though. Everything is just placed in boxes and so you gotta keep browsing, and hope you find something you like. If you're lucky, you'll be able to find something you've been looking for in a long time but never managed to find it, be it a music cd or dvd. I spotted old stuff like Home Alone and contemplated purchasing it, 'coz I used to really like it during my younger days. There're other really old school stuff like Carebears, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers etc. No smurfs, though. Haha. I bought some of The Simpsons and Family Guy. Most of these originals can be bought at 10RMB (S$2) per disc. Music cds are more expensive. Pirated DVDS go at 6RMB for normal quality and 8RMB for DVD-9s.

Yup I came across Weird Al and bought it too, it's quite hilarious, think I'll give it to my brother...though that'll be 2 years later since he doesn't intend to come back till then (if he returns home at all). As you can see, these are all in its orginal cover, whilst pirated DVDs here would look something like this:

This "wholesale centre" appears to be a place that sells household appliances from the outside and even during your first steps in. However, the place is teeming with pirated DVDs and unknown origins of originals.

Notice the lack of subtlety in selling DVDs instead of household appliances. There is even a police station opposite the place. I heard that after work these police officers themselves go over to stock up their supply of entertainment :).I'll definately go there again once in a while in hope of a good find. 西康路（苏州河）

After lunch which followed the fishing in dvd world, we went to a rather unique arty-farty place at No. 50 莫干山路.

From left to right: One of the art galleries (theres no fixed gallery, exhibition, etc. Just walk into these old residential buildings that have been transformed into soho studios for artists to share their work and work at the same time); a painting, an antique water filter, an antique keyboard and its table and cover.

Do these look typical Chinese painting to you? They sure do, and its intention is so. However, if you look closely (right-click the image and open in new window to enlarge them) they are actually modern buildings, computer language, and cranes. Ha! I think these are fantastic.

And this is like The Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci, just that these are probably children during the Communist Era (red scarf depicts support).

Whilst walking out of the long road to hail a cab, we came across these:

These were written to protest against the government for wanting to tear down their homes, forcing them to relocate. They cry pro-Communism and they even have framed pictures of Chairman Mao lined up on their house walls.

We spotted these odd-looking apartments with rock-design at the side. I wonder if rock-climbers are able to burglarize the apartments along the rock. Its a rather weird design. I don't think it goes very well, actually. Perhaps if the apartment blocks had a park or some sort of garden next to it. But it doesn't. So basically its a total misfit. As with the rest of Shanghai's buildings anyway. I should be able to relate to these buildings but perhaps I don't feel that 高贵.

After spending a day with a Shanghainese lad, I feel that he is a rather confident, albeit a little too arrogant, and self-righteous. While we were dvd shopping, he kept saying things like 我从来不买差过DVD-9的碟子, or go on about his taste in films. Maybe thats why I haven't really got a Shanghainese guy friend.

Et tu, Ms S?

2006-09-24T03:15:00.000+08:00

The original outburst in this blog has been deleted because I bear no grudges anymore.

...I spent my evening in town with Rowena, and she was great company! We ate dinner at this supposed Singapore restaurant that had good kangkong, okay Gambing soup, but lousy laksa. It also cost me a bomb in the light of my tight budget I've been giving myself these days.

If you notice, it appears that there's snot coming out from this model's right nostril in this advertisement. Somebody must have thought this really funny to position chewing gum (or whatever it is) in such a way. It is, actually, as many people don't take a look, let alone a second look, up at this advertisement while climbing down the staircase. And since I did, I had a good laugh, at the prank itself and at the lack of attention it gets from mostly self-centred people.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this like how I might be reading too much into Miss S's crisp dialogue with me. But well firstly, the "snot" is funny on an obvious level, because it's meant to be a visual comedy, but after some thought, I see more underlying symbolisms. Despite the snot that she has, she continues smiling, because she doesn't know it is an ugly sight, which perhaps explains why the PRCs exhibit many unpleasant scenes and images in our daily lives. Or its possible that she knows its there, she knows its disgusting, but she thinks: Who cares? Nobody really gives a damn because everyone in this overpopulated country is too self-absorbed in their own world (which is why pedestrians fail to notice her disfigurement while climbing down the flight of stairs). So in a way I see the above image as a mockery, a laughing-at-your-face kinda social commentary. But then again, perhaps it was just meant to be a little-boy-kinda-fun.

Rowena and I just walked around and did a little shopping after dinner, and caught our various last transportation home. I was stuck at the busstop at The Bund, though, because bus 55 was packed (3 or 4 buses hadn't a space for me) and I couldn't even squeeze into the queue outside the bus. So I tried to gain amusement in order to lose impatience by taking pictures!

I've only seen such a nice board showing the bus routes in this area of Shanghai. It even has a television screen showing an NBA game! CCTV 5 or 10 I think.

Owning body space on bus 55 earlier on was virtually impossible as a non-PRC Chinese with lousy pushing and squeezing and allowing-myself-to-be-squeezed-and-pushed-and-brushed-against-with-all-parts-of-human-anatomy skills. I therefore thought I was being quite smart to take the 33 route instead, which could bring me to somewhere near my place. It did, but I got a little lost and walked in the wrong direction for nearly 15 minutes, at which after realization took me another 15 minutes to go back to where I started, and I realized I have to take a cab or I might never get home safely at such a late hour (nearly midnight in the suburbs). And so I surrendered my stubborn soul, relented to my fear of lurking perverts, allowed my hand to hail a cab, and arrived safely home.

I saw a poster in the metro station about some photography competition regarding the Bank of China and decided to try my hand at it, even though I barely knew the rules. Too late for any chance, though, deadline for submission of hardcopies are on Monday. I'll keep trying for other such opportunities, though.

I wanted to depict the skyscraper (Bank of China building, 3rd building on the right of the Oriental Pearl Tower) with a busy road, to emphasize its importance in this major city. The commentary is still very sketchy since I only spent 5 minutes taking pictures on the pavement and in the middle of a busy road, and thus came up with whatever depiction my camera screen showed me. Can't explain the significance of the blurred view though...that the future for the Bank of China is uncertain? Right, I will never win with a comment like that, eh?

Breakfast by the Road

2006-09-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

The familiar yet unfamiliar Yew Char Kway and Tau Huay Chwee. Ate it for breakfast with Marta by roadside tables. Quite brisk business. Apparently they are there everyday from 3am till about 8.30am, rain or shine. 5 jiao (S$0.10) for a you tiao, 5 jiao per bowl of dou jiang (with the choice of sweet or salted).

Overpopulated Multi-taskers

2006-09-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

Its quite amusing to find that even though China whines about its overpopulation, she produces many multi-taskers. The security guards in banks act as customer service officers/receptionists as well. Quite good service too, I must say.

He answered all my queries to opening a fixed deposit account! The bank tellers directed me to him!

Invasion of Personal Space

2006-09-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

The Chinese (PRC Chinese) characteristic of invading into others' personal space goes as far as helping you squeeze your boobs into a push-up bra while you're trying to see the effects of a push-up bra which you cannot afford back home but can afford a couple here. And the saleslady did it so fast I didn't even know what happened -- I was unknowingly molested?

Ditto corset.

Haha, and then she unbuttoned her blouse(!) to show me the effects of the push-up bra on her bosom.

No wonder I never win any lottery or lucky draws.

The Most Pathetic Moment of My Life?

2006-09-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

It happened in the early hours of 5 September, the day Sam was to depart for home. My toilet bowl was choked, and Sam was shit's first victim. After hauling out whatever she did not digest from the toilet bowl since these could not be flushed down the toilet bowl, I was to clear my bowels in a plastic bag. I could not do it. In desperation, I could not help but shit in the comfort of the toilet bowl. I planned to remove my waste with one hand wrapped in a plastic bag, and the other with an open bag, but I foolishly thought somehow I could get the W.C. to flush properly again. HA. And so these undigested matter floated to the surface of chocolate water, laughing at me for not listening to Sam's advice. Trying not to inhale the smell of nature, I had to remove as much solid items as I could, and bailed as much of the liquid as possible. It was possibly the most pathetic 20-30 minutes of my life. I felt angry with the sewage system in China, that I had to resort to this. I'm sure Sam's experience was worse since she described water flowing out of the toilet bowl.

I called my apartment building's service department and got someone to help me unchoke the W.C.. He just came with that W.C. sucker thing in his pyjamas (well it was 2 am) and solved the problem in 5 minutes. Cost me 6RMB. Through his visit I noticed Sam's remarkable social adaptation (ok not like I didn't notice it before but this incident just reminded me). When our saviour pushed the flush(!) and all that brown water came up once again (it was damn disgusting I swear), Sam immediately offered him a cigarette and we proceeded to engage in small talk with him. Hahaha...It probably would have cost us more if it weren't for the cigarette and small talk. This you really gotta learn in China.

Well, this has been my worse experience so far for staying on my own outside school grounds in Shanghai.

Though maybe the loneliness and misery are more painful at times.

Are you happy for Squareface after reading this entry?
	Huh? For what? What took her so long? Girls should...[Insert whatever age-old stereotypes of girls you have here]
	Yeah! Though it's about time.
	Sure! I'm happy for Squareface no matter what :)

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Squareface @ 31°North

Farewell again

Has the great firewall of China crumbled?

Lunch at a greasy spoon

So Sam and Squareface can look alright

Students are almost alike almost all over the world

Squareface achieving square body

Walking the Terry Fox Run

Farewell, Blogspot

Impending 2 weeks of Bliss

Applying to Fudan University

Stuff in my life that might have pushed me to pursue my BA in China

我和云南有个约会 (I have a date with Yunnan)

My friend, the Beauty Queen (a.k.a. Maximizer Bra wannabe)

The Cuckoo's Nest is recruiting!

Self-destruction

Just go away

Skills only seen in China

Log off soon

Just for a few moments, I didn't feel so cold

Lala lalalala...

Squareface has a favour to ask of you

The Hunt for a Photo Host

The importance of having a hair stylist

I love cooking? damn.

哲学原典导读 －《维摩诘所说经》

VIMALAKIRTI NIRDESA SUTRA

Translated by Robert A. F. Thurman

NST: Singapore is simply a neighbour too far

Homemade Mashed Potato

"Something Old, Something New" photo competition

Singlish Security Lecture

(Pathetic) Cooking for one - Cabbages

Waterless with bubbles

$100 in Singapore

Chinese English Name

Pink Stupid Girls Video

Mixed-Orientation Marriages - by Joe Kort

Other sights (or sides) of Shanghai

Stationery fetish

On turning 21

The Great Firewall of China

Censored content

How to tell you've been spending too much time on your computer

Happy 21st Dino!

From Shanghai to Kunming

Sights that scream YOU'RE IN SHANGHAI/CHINA

15 Guidelines for Chinese Tourists Abroad

If the world worked in my favour...

Barely Bikeless

Suddenly Bikeless

How to tell when you're desperate to save money

Why you still can get fat in China

Beijing 2008

The Sound of Music

Roots and Canals

Time to start reading

Books Galore

Tired of creating blogs. Blahlogspit is here to stay.

4.48 Psychosis. And Her. And Her.

What are your thoughts when you are reading this?

Will I ever see my brother again?

Writer Wannabe

26 more days...

Happy Birthday Ah Duh

Spirit of the Dance!

Thank you, Ms Lu!

Think before you speak, Squareface

Tap tap tap

Supermarket Shopping

Milky Carrots

Simple Salad

Simple Salad

Of Stench and Trench

My Humble Abode

DVD Paradise

Et tu, Ms S?

Breakfast by the Road

Overpopulated Multi-taskers

Invasion of Personal Space

哲学原典导读－《维摩诘所说经》